Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plaît
by fashiongirl97
Summary: Don't forget me, please.It's been five years since her 'death', and after five years of successfully living a lie under witness protection, one evening is about to bring her whole world crashing down around her feet. All it takes is an attack in an alleyway, and a single drop of blood. And all of a sudden she's going to come face to face with the one man she had been trying forget.
1. une

**Disclaimer- **_I don't own NCIS or the song._

**Authors note – **_So I decided to go back to what I love and write pure Jibbs romance. This is basically me cutting out half of the OC's, and heavy depressing angst, and writing what I started off writing. I love the idea of Jenny loving music and singing so I hope you enjoy._

_Also, the title means 'don't forget me please' and was kindly translated by Azniv, so I can take no credit. _

_The song is 'Let there be Lonely' by Jonathon Jackson._

**Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plaît  
**

It seemed as though no matter how hard she tried, no matter how many walls she re-built, or how many smiles she faked, there was no avoiding it. Five years had passed since her supposed 'death'. Five years since that day when she had stood in the old dinner in the middle of the desert with no one but Mike Franks to back her up. And as she looked back on that day now, she wondered how stupid she could possibly have been. As Director she had been so stuck up and in truth she hated the person that job had made her. Five years on, she'd changed. In some ways it was for the better; these days she was kinder, more down to earth. She treated people as though they were all equal. Yet in other ways, she didn't like parts of herself, the way she was always looking over her shoulder, the way that she was never fully happy.

However whilst Jenny was thankful for the fact she had been able to leave the person the job had made her behind, thankful that she had been allowed to begin to write and play music again. She also missed him like hell. Jen missed those piercing blue eyes, that smile that he so rarely showed. She missed his glare, his mistreating of her door (that was now Leon's), she missed the way he always knew what she was thinking and could read her like a book. Jenny missed Leroy Jethro Gibbs, and Tony, Tim, Abby, and Ducky. Each one of them had been part of her family; especially the old Doctor. He'd seen her grow from a young determined agent into the bull headed and ice cold Director, and now she wished that just once she could see him again, talk to him, listen to one of those rambling stories . . . do all of the things she had taken for granted.

Her life was different these days. She was in witness protection thanks to the CIA. It was only partly due to the fact that there were still people who had worked for Svetlana who wanted her dead, the other part was because it was believed among the arms dealing community that she had killed La Grenouille. Jenny had given up trying to imagine the number of people with a grudge against her who wanted her dead, and just gone with it. Now she moved to a different state every 9-10 months. She never settled down. However she still worked, these days she worked in small bars most of which played live music. Generally she was a waitress, but from time to time she would play as well. Loving the fact that for those few minutes she could slip away the mask and let her true feelings be shown and yet no one would know her story.

When she had been a teenager she'd loved music, after her mother's death it had been her that kept the family together. Her father was deployed most of the time and Noemi only worked when he was away. Jenny was the one who had looked after her younger sister Heather. She'd been seventeen when their mother had died; Jenny had had dreams of going to University and studying law. Her sister had only been thirteen though, young and naïve. Jenny had been the one who dressed her for school, helped her with homework and, when the time had come, gone prom dress shopping with her. It had been Jenny who had done all the things their mother should have done with Heather. In those days she had felt so alone, she knew it was not her father's fault, after all her mother had died in a car crash, but she partly blamed him. She felt lonely, and that was where music came in. Jenny had loved it. It distracted her from growing up too fast and acted as a sort of plug for that hole in her heart.

Her mother's death was the reason she chose FLET-C over Law school. Because in reality she had already outgrown being a student. That was something that she never wished she had not done though, because thinking about it now she could not actually see herself as being anything other than a cop. It was whilst she was at FLET-C that her father had been killed. He was the reason she chose NCIS over the FBI, CIA and Secret service. NCIS allowed her the access and opportunity she would need to be able to bring down her father's killer. But look where that had gotten her? Living a lie, away from every person she cared about and alone – more alone than she had ever even known that a person could be.

Currently Jenny was living in Philadelphia. She had an apartment that looked out over the city. It was only small, but easy to defend and protect for the security she always had and was unable to escape. Jenny was sat on the floor next to the big one way window looking out on the city, guitar on her knee and papers spread out around her as she tried to write. It was early evening in the city, and it was beginning to come alive. Over the last five years she had lived everywhere from Connecticut, to Miami, to Texas. But this was one of the closest places to DC she had lived.

Living a lie was getting hard and Jenny was not sure how much longer she would be able to go on. Every time they thought she would be safe to settle down there were whispers and she moved, never getting close anyone. That was what hurt, because every time she moved, her security changed. "Louise, it's time you left for your shift." One of the young men said. His dark hair lay flat to his face, and a quiet personality that strongly reminded her of McGee. She nodded and shuffled her papers into a pile before carrying them into her room and locking them away.

Louise.

Louise Walters was her name. No one knew Jenny, Jenny Shepard was buried in an empty grave in some corner of a cemetery, all remnants of her locked away in a box of some cool dark room at the back of NCIS. Sometimes she wondered if any of them went to her 'grave', she wondered if Heather knew what had truly happened to her. But Jenny guessed not. Jen grabbed a change of clothes and pulled on a black tube skirt and fitted white blouse with black heels. She looked in the mirror and smiled at her red hair, after five years this was the first state where she had not been forced to wear a wig when she went out. Her hair was long now, and she had a feathered fringe that framed her eyes. Jen applied a coat of red lipstick and tied the long locks back before grabbing her purple double breasted jacket and heading out into the dreary and grey October evening.

The streets were quiet, and the security walking behind her would go unnoticed by most, however Jenny noticed them. She noticed the two men behind of her, and the one over in a doorway reading the paper. The red head walked the couple of blocks until she got to the small back street bar. It was relatively quiet as it was only mid week. Walking in she hung up her jacket behind the bar, grabbed her apron and got to work.

Jenny's shift lasted until it was gone eleven in the evening and the crowd had nearly gone. She waited tables, collected orders, served drinks, wiped tables and worked until her feet felt like they were about to fall off. It was getting on and there were just a few customers left. Jenny sat down at the bar and took a deep breath. She did not know why but today was getting to her. "Go play for 'em." Lynne said. She was the owner of the bar, and older than Jenny as she was in her mid fifties. She had dyed brown hair that was cut into a wedge bob. Lynne was lovely, she near lived in skinny black jeans and had been a rebel back in her day. Now she settled for watching the younger ones have the fun. But she was getting to know Jenny, and she'd noticed that whenever she was down or upset, playing music seamed to lift her.

Lynne also knew that Jenny was not one to divulge much about her life, in fact she knew very little about her life. But she thought of her like a sister, or a niece, and felt almost protective of her. When she told Jenny to play the red head looked up. "Nah, they don't wanna listen to me." She said with a smile, resting her head on her hand.

"They sure do! Now go pick up that guitar and play!" She said before nodding to the old Gibson that was sat behind the bar. Lynne went to serve a customer and Jenny looked at the guitar hesitantly. Her confidence when it came to playing had gotten better as of lately, but that was by no means saying that she believed in herself. Deciding it would be the only chance that she would manage to say how she felt she picked up the guitar and walked over to the mike that stood in the corner. As she walked onto the stage she felt eyes on her.

"Lynne persuaded me to get up here, so if you don't like this then it's her you need to blame." There were a couple of laughs before Jenny sat the guitar on her knee and began to strum the strings for the first few chords before her fingers got accustomed and she got into the rhythm of things. "So this is a song called 'Let there be Lonely'

"Let there be lonely, I'm ready to grieve,  
Love I've been holding on to,  
I've tried so hard to keep saying you're mine,  
Now it's time, now it's time.

"Let there be hurting I'm craving the tears,  
That are appeared in my eyes for so long,  
I want to feel every drop of the pain,  
As I cry, as I cry.

"I'm gonna suffer the aching I've earned,  
Won't this wound ever the lesson I've learned,  
'Cause the only way out of here,  
It's the only way out of here.

"Let there be daggers that take my skin,  
Down to my heart will go holding,  
Make me a new one and I'll love again,  
Until then, until then.

"Let there be lonely.

"It's the only way out of here,  
Oh it's the only way out of here.

"Let there be lonely I'm ready to grieve,  
Love I've been holding on to,  
I've tried so hard to keep saying you're mine,  
Now it's time, now it's time."

She'd written the song months ago now, on the day that would have been Jethro's birthday. It was her way of admitting that she would never see him again, and her way of saying goodbye to their love. Now as she sung it she wanted to cry, and the look in Lynne's eyes made her know that her friend knew that. When she had started singing in bars her security had had a fit. They'd hated the idea of tonnes of eyes being on her, but Jenny had done what she had always done and stuck firmly to her guns.

Jenny smiled as she strummed the last bar and everyone clapped, she smiled and stepped down off of the stage, and walked over to the bar. "Better hon?" Lynne questioned.

"Much." Jenny said with a soft smile which was slightly bittersweet. "I'm gonna get off now. Keep the tips." The red head said before she grabbed her jacket and left. The cold air hit her face as she walked out and it took her breath away. She felt like she had just bared her soul up on the stage. Jenny walked the streets and took a short cut home, losing her detail in the process. She was so caught up in her thoughts that her agent skills were mutes for a while, so she didn't notice the fact she was being followed by someone who was not a member of the CIA.

Yet over in DC, Gibbs was sat in a small dinner with Doctor Ryan. He'd finished a case and met up with her. But as he sat there, trying to move on with his life, his hands wrapped around his cup, out of nowhere in particular his gut began to clench. For some unknown reason he all of a sudden felt a wave of guilt for being with another woman, and knew that something was wrong, but where and with whom he did not yet know.

_Please review! _


	2. deux

**Disclaimer****- **_NCIS is not mine_

**Authors note – **_So, as you may have noticed the title has changed, this is now the most accurate translation – thanks to Azniv. _

_I hope this chapter is okay, sorry for spelling, grammar, typo's etc. Thanks to all my reviewers:  
_RhizOneill, Qoheleth, Guest, Azniv, Left My Heart in Paris, magiclover13, GeneaLady (I also hate Ryan, and what to throw stuff at the tv whenever she appears, but don't worry, she won't last long here)  
_  
Anyway, enjoy! (:_

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

Jenny Shepard walked down the alley way, mind caught up in the tangled web of emotions she was currently feeling in the wake of the performance. If Ducky had of been there, listening to that song, he'd be chasing after her now, about to give her a long lecture about the length of life. She almost wished he was there, because she knew he would tell her to go and find Gibbs. But he wasn't there, Ducky was hundreds of miles away in DC, no doubt sat with the team having drinks and telling embarrassing tales. And as for finding and telling Gibbs, well she knew that was no more than a dream. She was in Witness protection, and the likelihood of her ever seeing him again was about the same as lightening striking twice.

She'd managed to get rid of the CIA almost subconsciously, so whist hey panicked she walked. Silently, not even listening to the sound around her. She didn't notice a figure standing at the end of the alley she had entered through, she didn't see him or hear him as he walked at a fast pace to catch up with her.

In fact she only actually noticed him when his hand reached forward and grabbed her ponytail, pulling her backwards. The red head squealed in surprise momentarily before she realised what exactly was about to happen. She tried to kick and spin, her agent skills rustily getting into action. Except her was stronger, and in a more domineering and powerful position. But Jenny fought; she kicked, until he pushed her up against the wall. "You wrecked my life you stupid slut!" He growled in her ear, making he bit her lip to keep quiet. "Well now I'm going to ruin yours!"

It was then Jenny noticed his knife, a simple kitchen knife, large but sharp and capable of doing a decent amount of damage. Jen may have been in witness protection for years but she still remembered the rules a former marine had drilled into her as a probie. The sharp blade of her knife dug into her calf, she knew there was no hope though – it was out of reach.

With every second that passed his knife got closer to her neck, until the sound of running feet could be heard. Then her security stood there with guns drawn ready to shoot him down. "You really think that will stop me?" He whispered, as his knife twisted on her neck as he dragged it down her skin. A gun was fired, the silencer working almost perfectly as it muffled the sound so no one would hear. His body fell to the ground.

The redhead breathed a sigh of relief, adrenalin running through her body making her knees go shaky and not feel the bleeding cut on her neck. It was strange though, she didn't feel scared, or like she was relieved she no longer had to deal with that on a daily basis. Instead she felt like she missed it, as though in that terrifying moment something had clicked that made her realise how much she wanted to do good. But knowing all along that it would never happen.

The agents gathered, wiping down the knife of her blood with alcohol wipes. "The cops won't know it was you, it'll just look like a guy who brought a knife to a gun fight." Said one of the agents. Jenny still had no clue that the man was, and he'd fallen on his face so she couldn't tell. All she knew was that she was unable to correctly place where she knew the voice from.

"Here." Another said, handing her a tissue for her neck, she took it gratefully, stood there holding it as still she felt nothing from the wound. The agents were quick about their work and within five minutes they were all heading back to the apartment for the night. It was then as she walked Jenny felt the sting of the wound and hissed in pain. One of the men, tall with dark hair slicked back turned around and looked at the wound quickly.

"It won't need stitched but we'll clean it up and dress it when we get back." Jenny just nodded and applied pressure to the wound as she followed the CIA. What not one of the highly trained federal personal saw as they walked away was the single droplet of blood that was drying out of the floor of the alleyway, a single droplet of blood from a woman who was by all accounts supposed to be dead.

By the time she got back to the apartment, the piece of tissue begin held to her neck was completely covered in red, and the CIA men were getting very concerned. Jenny sat down and took off her coat before looking down at her neck. A couple of minutes later a blonde haired woman walked into the apartment, talking in a quietly stern voice to all of the agents. She knelt down in front of Jenny and simply cut the woman's white blouse so she could see the wound. "How badly does it hurt?" She questioned as her eyes skimmed over the wound. Jenny did not know who the woman was, however in the last two years she'd learnt not to ask.

"Not as much as getting shot." The red head responded.

"It is not as bad as it could have been." She said as she opened a green medical bag that had miraculously appeared from o where and began to wipe the wound with an alcohol wipe. Jenny hissed. "Sorry." The woman said, not sounded sincere in the slightest. She was rough, but before Jenny knew anything else the wound had gauze and cotton wool over it and she was done.

Sighing Jenny sighed at the thought of the evening, she was shattered, and yet the adrenalin running through her blood was going to be nothing to help her sleep. So Jenny made her way into her room and curled up in bed, trying to think back to happier times in Paris.

* * *

That night Gibbs lay in bed, Ryan had tried to curl up with him, but as soon as she had drifted off he'd sat up, and now was looking out the window out into the rest of the world. He didn't know why now all of a sudden he felt guilty, his gut had calmed down but all he could think about now was Jenny. It had been five years since she had 'died', and with every year that passed he felt like she was slowly slipping further away from him. She'd been the only woman he had ever dated who hadn't been a replacement for Shannon like Diane and Ginger had been. But every woman since, Stephanie, Hollis, and even Ryan had all been a replacement for Jenny.

Stephanie had been to numb the pain. Hollis had been to make her jealous. Ryan, he guessed that the way she could read him, and the way she was dedicated reminded him of Jenny when she had been director. She was the second one to get away.

Silently, as not to wake his companion, he slipped a photo out of his bedside cabinet. After Paris he'd had tonnes of pictures of him and Jenny that made him smile, but this one was special. They'd driven off out with Ducky for the day, trying to escape the world of lies they were living in. They'd found a small town, and I the stifling heat of August there had been a welcoming fountain. Gibbs being Gibbs had pushed a doubtful Jenny in, and then quickly followed her.

The picture showed them both running through the fountain, holding hands and laughing. As with most of the pictures Ducky had been the one behind the camera. As he looked at the picture now he felt a wave of guilt, because whilst with Shannon's death he had begun to accept he could not have stopped it. With Jenny, the knowledge she 'died' for him, that made it even harder to forget.

"Who is she?" Questioned Ryan, sitting up behind him and looking over his shoulder.

"No one." He replied too quickly before putting the picture away.

"Gibbs-"

"Drop it." He didn't know why he was reluctant to tell her, but he was. Whilst she knew the bare minimum about Shannon from a source he was unsure of, she did not know about Jenny. For the moment at least he wanted Jenny to be his secret, because in sharing her he might lose her even more.

Gibbs laid back down and put his back to Ryan, not knowing why he was being cold with her but knowing for the moment he needed to be. She fell back asleep and he began to doze off, thinking back to Paris – the last time he'd been a hundred percent happy – over a decade ago.

* * *

Hours later, when the sun had only just begun to rise and his phone rung, the shrill waking them both. He opened his eyes, and picked up the offending object before sitting up. "Yeah, Gibbs." He answered, looking back out the window at the grey sky before him.

"Dispatch, DB in Philadelphia."

"Why us?"

"Short staffed Gibbs." Said the older woman's voice on the end of the phone before the line went dead. He looked at his phone and saw he had a message telling him the GPS co-ordinates. Sighing he ran a hand through his hair before standing up.

"Case?" She asked, softly.

"Yeah." He said as he went into the bathroom to shower.

"You know, pushing me out won't help. Whoever that woman was last night is gone-"

"Just drop it Doc." He replied before she heard the shower go on. Frustrated she stood up and left, not bothering to say goodbye. Gibbs groaned as he heard the door slam shut. It was earl, he'd had minimal sleep and Jenny was still on his mind, he knew he was going to need coffee to get through the day ahead.

An hour later he walked under the yellow tape to see Ziva and Tony already processing the scene whilst McGee took witness statements. He felt gad that his team was so well accustomed to their routine – I made his life a hell of a lot easier. Gibbs took a sip of his coffee as he walked over to ducky, thankful for the scolding liquid as it slid down his throat.

As he stepped down the alley, the concentrated small of damp, blood and death assaulted his senses. Thankfully his years in the job had made him become accustomed to the smell. He walked silently and crouched down next to the dead body in front of him. "What we got Duck?" He questioned gruffly.

"Well, our poor fellow here is former Lieutenant Charles Massey. COD looks like a single gunshot wound but I'll know for definite when I get him back." Said the ME as he flipped the body over.

"TOD?"

"It seems he was murdered sometime between 10:30 pm and Midnight last night."

"Thanks Duck." He said, before walking off.

As he left the alley way he chucked his coffee cup in the disposable bin and went about finding out what the local LEO's had found out, and then see if his team had actually done any work what so ever in the past hour.

* * *

Late that morning Jenny Shepard awoke to the feeling of a sharp stabbing pain in her neck and a dull ache all over her body. She was momentarily disorientated until she remembered the events of the previous night and groaned heavily. She wondered how she could have been so utterly stupid as not to have seen him. One thing Jenny was pretty sure of was that she would most likely be moving cities again soon in the near future, and maybe this time even continents.

Carefully she stood up and walked into the en suite bathroom before peeling off the gauze to look at the wound. The red head hissed at the pain and saw that it was bright red and inflamed, however there seemed to be no infection as of yet. So she dug out her medical kit and cleaned and dressed the wound. It brought back memories of the time she had learnt how to do it. When they had been undercover and Jethro had been shot. He refused to let anyone help him, but through a few tactical bribes she had managed to clean and dress the gun shot every day until it healed.

Once she was down the red head washed her hair in the sink before she stepped into the bath, not letting the water touch her wound. An hour and a half later, with her hair in a French plait down her back and dressed in a pair of tight fitted joggers and a black vest top she emerged from her room in search of coffee. However when she got to the kitchen area she was greeted by double the amount of agents, all stood there talking about tactics. "Well hi there?" She said, smiling softly before they all moved so she could get through. "So, why have you all bread overnight?" She asked, and a couple looked at her uncomfortably. "I mean, there are twice as many CIA agents stood in my kitchen as there was yesterday!"

"Ma'am, we need to establish whether your cover had been blown." Said the woman from yesterday who had cleaned her wound.

"Jeez! Don't call me ma'am. Firstly I'm not the director anymore, and secondly it makes me feel old." Sad the red head as she walked out of the room and into the living area. "So, what happens, I move again?"

"No, actually we want to keep you here, continue your usual routine."

"And why would that be? I take it the CIA has the investigation into my attackers death."

"Actually no." said the woman, sitting down on the sofa opposite.

"FBI?"

"Nope."

"The who?" But the woman's face said it all. "NCIS?"

"He was a former Marine."

"Name?"

"That's all we know."

"Well aren't you agency of the year!" Jenny said exasperated. Then she got off and headed towards her room.

"Ms. Sheppard, where are you going?"

"Well, considering I act as normal my shift starts in an hour and a half, so I best get a move on." Jenny was getting annoyed and her temper was running thin. She did not understand why they were keeping her stateside anyway, why couldn't she just go to Europe or somewhere, at least that way she would be somewhere no one knew her. 'Paris.' She said to herself. 'That's where I'll go' but that was if they ever actually let her go somewhere else. For now she seemed trapped.

* * *

"Tony, I got blood." Said Ziva as she knelt down by the wall and photographed the droplet before taking a sample.

"Where?" He questioned, as he walked over singing some Sinatra classic Ziva had never heard of.

"Here!" She responded.

"Alright, alright!"

"It doesn't fit with the rest of the blood pattern." She stated as she stood up and looked at it in comparison to the placing of all of the others.

"I think someone else was in this alleyway."

"Killer?"

"Or victim?"

* * *

_Review?_


	3. trois

**Disclaimer – **_NCIS is not mine, the song is not mine_

**Authors note – **_Thank you to everyone who is giving me a good response to this story, it really means a lot. It is good to know that you like what I am writing. I hope that this chapter is okay, the song is 'Getaway car' and is by Thomson Square who are an amazing band. _

_Also, a massive e-hug to all these people for reviewing: _RhizONeill, GeneaLady, Sasha-038, Left My heart in Paris, Magiclover13, Amber SanGiovanni, Unaligned fae Queen!

_Hope you all enjoy! I'll try to update as soon as I can!_

* * *

Ne M'oublie pas s'il te plait

Jenny Shepard walked down the street, her pale teal Mary Jane suede stilettos heels clip-clopping along the pavements as she went. Nerves sat in the pit of her stomach. In order to get to the bar she had to walk past the alley where last night's events had unfolded. Her mind kept flashing back to that moment, how caught up in her own thoughts and feelings she had been. Jenny felt sick at the thought that her skills had faded so much. And as she walked, the knowledge that there was a high chance the people she had known would be in the same city as her made her feel even sicker.

She'd been running for 5 years now, five whole years of running and hiding and trying to start a new life. Yet somehow this was where she had ended up. For some reason, just the knowledge that he could be in the same city had made Jenny take a little extra time getting dressed and doing her hair. She'd pulled on a pair of wide legged black trousers, her teal Mary Jane heels, and a fitted white shirt with three quarter sleeves. Yet because of the large gash on her neck she'd put on a matching patterned teal scarf underneath. Her hair was long and wavy with the top few layers taken back. Her makeup was light, but elegant.

In truth she knew it was stupid, but she didn't have the will power to stop herself. Of course Jenny knew the procedure if she were to become spotted b someone she knew from her past life: run! But she also knew that if he spotted her, she would freeze and not be able to move a muscle. So as she walked, her black jacket pulled around her to protect her from the breeze she looked forward and walked straight past the crime scene where she could hear the people she had once known so well working.

* * *

Gibbs was stood there talking to the Leo's whilst Tony and Ziva bickered and McGee went in search of CCTV footage. That however, was a task that the CIA had put a stop to as they had wiped all footage clean as not to get their witness noticed and then cause questions.

"When was it called in?"

"Anonymous phone call early this morning, someone walking their dog." Said the guy in front of him. He was round and his uniform was popping open a little, a sign that he didn't want to admit he'd put weight on. "'Bout 3am."

"Someone walking their dog at 3am? Down an alleyway?!" Questioned Gibbs with complete and utter shock.

"Hey! Look I'm just telling ya what were said! I ain't the one who called it in." The Leo replied.

"Number?"

"What d'ya mean?"

"What was the number that called it in?!" Gibbs questioned exasperated.

"Alright! Jeez! It were a telephone box. Ya wanna know which one?"

"Well it would help!" Said Gibbs, before looking around. As he looked down the alleyway towards the opposite size which showed a glimpse of the main street he saw someone walking past. IT wasn't that that shocked this former marine though because after all, many people had already walked past that morning, some even stopping to try and get the latest piece of gossip before their friends did. However what shocked him was that the woman was a leggy redhead who held a striking resemblance to his former lover who had died five years earlier. The only difference was, this woman had longer hair and was very much alive. Gibbs blinking, twice, but by the time his eyes refocused the woman had walked away.

"Boss?" Said McGee, pulling Gibbs away.

"Yeah?" He replied, convincing himself it was a trick of his mind. After all he'd seen the body bag; he'd stood by her graveside and then wept over photos. Putting it down to a lack of sleep and guilt from dating another woman he turned to McGee and focussed on the case. It was time for him to stop dwelling on the past and focus on the future.

"I've got the details of telephone box from the Leo's, you want me to head over there?" Questioned the younger agents. In the last five years the whole team had grown, whilst it was obvious that Tony and Ziva still blamed themselves for Jenny's death, it had moulded them into the people they now were. Leon had given McGee more responsibility; he'd given him the chance he needed to shine. The younger 'probie' had grown into a very talented agent. One who often in certain aspects reminded Gibbs of Jenny.

Back in the day, with Stan and Decker teasing her, Jenny had been the probie. And whilst she may well have stood up for herself more than Tim did, she had been the tech savvy one. Being the only woman she'd gotten plenty of stick, and whilst at first he hadn't been sure if she would cope. Hell the first day she'd planned on wearing heels to a crime scene. But given six months he'd known she had potential.

"Yeah, take Ziva with you; dust the whole damn thing for prints if ya need to. He said before walking away. "Dog walked at 3am my ass!" He muttered.

Gibbs walked over to Tony who was trying to flirt with one of the witnesses. "Oi! DiNozzo!"

"Yes Boss!" He said, giving one last wink before running over.

"Take the evidence back with Ducky." He said before walking away, back to his car and heading back to head quarters. Tony walked over to the van and took the keys from Palmer.

"I'm driving." Said the senior agents, before he got in and waited for the autopsy gremlin and the Scottish doctor to join him.

* * *

Jenny near ran the rest of the way to the bar. She was absolutely positive he was going to follow her. If there was one thing she would never forget it was the feeling of his eyes on her. And that was an undeniable feeling she was sure she had just felt. Yet as she arrived at the door, she paused, took a deep breath and went in the side entrance. Whilst the place was open it was only early, and apart from one guy sat at the back drinking coffee there was no one there.

Lynne stood behind the bar, dressed in her skinny jeans and a gypsy blouse. Jenny smiled as her eyes caught her friends. "Hey you! Almost thought you weren't going to turn up."

She said.

"Yeah, well I'm only five minutes late."

"More than you've ever been before. Why ya late anyway?" she questioned as she stood there drying glasses.

"Erg!" Jenny said as she hung up her jacket and grabbed her apron. "The ex is in town, had to go the long way around. He's dealing with some crime scene." She said, telling the story she'd been told to flawlessly. "So if I run out back and hide at all that is why." The black haired woman just laughed at Jenny.

"Okay! So, did ya hear about what happened last night?"

"No, what went on? I missed the news this morning." The red head questioned, years doing undercover assignments had lead to her being able to lie flawlessly. And after five years of doing so it came naturally, scarily naturally.

"Some guy was shot last night – former marine – down and alley not far away. Cops think it was a guy who brought a knife to a gun fight!" Said Lynne, eyebrows raised.

"Jesus! And I thought this place were safe."

"So did I darling! But I guess it happens everywhere though." Said Lynne. "Here, make yourself useful!" She said, chucking a cloth at Jenny with a smirk.

"Yes ma'am." She replied with a solute. As she wiped the tables Jenny couldn't help but wonder what the next couple of days would bring.

* * *

"What d'ya got?" Questioned Gibbs as he walked into the bullpen, coffee in hand and growling at his agents. Everyone stood up and moved over to the plasma, each eager to please with what little they had.

"Meet former Lieutenant Charles Massey, aged forty years. Joined the Navy straight out of college, honourably discharged in '11. His address is a long term hotel room, no sustainable job, and credit cards all maxed out." Said Tony, looking proud of himself.

"Family?" Questioned Gibbs.

"He was adopted at the age of 10, chose to keep his original name. Mother and father died in a car crash, father was DUI. They swerved off of the road and went down a cliff whilst on their way back from holiday. Massey was staying with a family friend at the time." Said Ziva, smirking at Tony.

"Who adopted him?" The silver haired marine questioned.

"Well I've been trying to find that out only it seems someone doesn't want us to. The records are sealed by the CIA; we will need a warrant to open them. Or I could hack it?" Stated McGee.

"Do it McGee."

"It'll take a good few hours." Said the younger agent.

"You have two." And with that he walked off, down to see what Ducky and Abby had for him.

* * *

It was well past lunch time now, and so far Jenny had not seen anyone that she recognised from NCIS. Which was thankful. Lynne was desperately trying to pry information from her about her ex who was in town. But Jenny had sealed her lips, and was not saying anything. She hated lying to Lynne, especially when she had become a good friend, but at the same time Jenny knew that it was not a complete lie. Jethro was her ex, and he was in town. Jenny had just neglected to tell her the fact that he thought she was dead.

Sitting down at the empty bar Jenny pulled out her journal and started to jot down a couple of lyrics, adding onto the stuff she had started the night before. Her curled italic script began to fill the cream page. It was a journal of songs she had started five years ago. Some of the stuff was embarrassing, rubbish and would never be performed for that reason. However other pieces would never be performed for the sole reason that they were too hear wrenchingly and brutally honest to perform to an audience.

"Eat!" said Lynne, placing down a plate of home cooked chips covered in melted grated cheese in front of Jenny. It was a dish that Jenny had fallen in love with since the first time her friend made her eat it. And whilst she knew it was unhealthy, it would be the only meal she would have that day.

"Thanks." Jenny sad with a smile. Picking up a chip and smiling as the cheese formed a long string as she pulled it away.

"What ya writing?"

"Oh, just summort that popped into my head last night." Jenny replied. "It's not finished yet." Said Jenny, trying to hide it. But Lynne pulled it away.

_What if I was Jesse James  
Or had one of them outlaw names?  
Could you handle my Wild West games  
Livin' on the run?_

What if we were Bonnie and Clyde  
With Tommy guns, runnin' from the blue lights  
And lovin', livin' on the wild side  
Just for fun?

Would you drive my getaway car?  
Chasin' dreams like a couple young hearts  
Hidin' out underneath the stars  
Would you drive my getaway car?

It was ironic really; the song was about someone freeing her, almost in the sense of committing a crime. When she had spent her whole life stopping crime. But it was about Jethro, wanting him to save her, but him doing that would end up with them both having consequences. IT would be like one of them committing a crime. But that was how she felt.

Lynne smiled at her. Looking in her eyes. "It's amazing, Louise." Said Lynne, calling the red head by the name she knew her as: Louise Walters. "But if you ever need to talk I'm here."

"Thanks." Replied the red head. But she knew she would never be able to accept that offer, because all her problems were problems that Jenny Sheppard had to deal with, not those that Louise Walters had.

* * *

Gibbs walked into the cold room of autopsy, the chemical smell overwhelming to most, yet it no longer affected him. He walked over to the body where Ducky was working on sewing up the Y incision. "Jethro, what can I do for you my boy?" Questioned the older man.

"What you got Duck?" He questioned.

"COD was as expected a single gunshot wound, Mr Palmer is taking the bullet up to Abigail as we speak. TOD was nearer to 11 to 11:30pm last night. There are no signs of defensive wound or anything; however his blood alcohol level was above the legal limit to drive."

"He was drunk?"

"Very much so, and by the look of his liver it had been a common occurrence as of lately."

"Anything else?"

"No, it seems this man's tale was not a long one." Said Ducky, watching as his friend left autopsy, knowing he would be on his way up to Abby's lab.

* * *

The loud music blared out and filled the room, deafening most. He walked in and shouted "Abby!" over the music. She quickly spun around and turned it off for him, knowing he did not much like her music.

"Gibbs!" She said, running over and hugging him. But her smile was not as big as it usually was, and he was well aware that something was not quite right.

"What you got for me Abs?" He questioned, she walked over to her screen and began to ramble off.

"All the blood found around the body belonged to our victim. The knife was a general kitchen knife and was wiped down of prints and blood. They used and alcohol knife, I'm running it for chemical compounds now to see if I can get a match on a specific brand but most are similar so I probably won't be able to. All signs point to there being another person in the alley who knew that they were doing."

"What about the second blood drop that Tony and Ziva found."

"I got a match from the NCIS database."

"They work here?" He questioned, slightly confused as if there was someone from NCIS in the alley then they surely would have reported it.

"They did." Said Abby, deliberately putting off her answer.

"Abby who was it?" Gibbs questioned, getting slightly annoyed with his favourite.

It was then Abby put up the person's face and Gibbs nearly fainted. "Former Director Jennifer Shepard." She said, before turning to his shell shocked face. "Gibbs, How was Jenny's blood in the alley?"

* * *

_Review?_

__fashiongirl97_


	4. quatre

**Disclaimer – **_NCIS is not mine_

**Authors note – **_Hey y'all! So, here is yet another chapter, and I have to say that this is such a lovely and fun story to write. And so far it is also very easy to do so! Which means faster updates! I hope y'all like this, and that it is okay. I'm trying to add a bit more case than I usually would as I want to show both sides of the story. However I don't usually so my appologies if I am a bit rusty! _

_Anyway, thanks to my reviewers : _GeneaLady, Silvinkai, Left My Heart in Paris, RhizOneill, DS2010, magiclover13, Sasha-038, Guest, and Unaligned fae queen.

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Ne M'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously**_

"_Abby who was it?" Gibbs questioned, getting slightly annoyed with his favourite. _

_It was then Abby put up the person's face and Gibbs nearly fainted. "Former Director Jennifer Shepard." She said, before turning to his shell shocked face. "Gibbs, Jenny was in the alley."_

* * *

_**Now**_

Gibbs blinked, his eyes drawn to the picture in front of him. Remembering every intricate detail of her face, the way her hair had fallen when it was long, how it had spiked up in the pixie cut he'd hated, and how it had flicked out at the end when she had begun to grow it out again. The silver haired fox gazed at those bright emerald green eyes that he had once known all so well. The eyes that he had looked into, fallen asleep to.

The picture had been taken on her first day as director, the old one where she had long sleeved white top on and hair slightly matted from a squabble with a suspect had been replaced. He remembered the day the original was taken, the way she had returned to the bullpen before she was photographed with a massive frown on her face. The hair he knew she had spent time taming hat morning now matted, and makeup that had been perfect was smudged, so much so she had taken it off. Months later when they'd grown closer he'd looked at her badge and she'd hit him, telling him she hated the picture. All he'd thought was that she looked beautiful even then.

The new one had her in a pin striped suit, a silver necklace and hair all pulled back. All that first day he had wanted to pulled her hair down and run his hands through it. But he didn't, and he' never even gotten close to kissing her once over those three years she was director. Now, her blood being found just as he had begun to get all caught up in memories of her could not be a coincidence, yet he did not see how it could be possible either.

"Re run the test Abby." He said, eyes not once venturing away from her picture on the screen.

"I have Gibbs, five times. It is her blood." Said Abby, hugging herself as she watched the conflicting emotions flash across his face.

"How old was the blood Abby?" He questioned, trying to think rationally. He knew in his mind she could not be alive, but then again, he'd never seen her body . . . Gibbs banished the thought from his mind and told himself he was being stupid.

"It was fresh Gibbs, no more that 5-10 hours old." The Goth stated.

"Is there a way you can preserve blood Abs? Make it appear like it is fresher than it is?" He was splitting hairs now, trying to find out how the blood of his dead ex-lover could be found at the shooting of a former Marine.

"I don't know Gibbs." She said, and he glared at her. "But I am going to find out, because Jenny was the best, and I will do my best work for her!" Said the Goth, turning to her screen and beginning to work. "Gibbs?" She said softly, and he turned to her.

"Yeah?"

"Could . . . I know it's stupid but . . . Could she be alive?" Abby asked, and he saw the tears threatening to fall from her eyes. The silver haired man walked over and hugged her, tight and kissed her crown.

"I dunno Abs, I dunno." And with that he walked out of the lab, got in the lift and decided that he was in dire need of coffee. So, he pressed the right floor and leant back against the cold metal of the lift, wondering what on earth was going on. Jenny was dead, she had died protecting him, but something about that crime scene had made his gut churn, and now he wondered if he'd missed something. If amongst the battle between his emotions, his pride and his love, he had been so blindsided about getting revenge that he had missed something.

* * *

The silver haired man stepped into the coffee shop he always frequented. Walking up to the counter he nodded at the young girl who knew is order by heart. She was young and working her way through college, training to be a prosecutor. She had told him all this the first time he went in, before she realised he preferred the silence. That was why he always paid a little extra and told her to keep the change. Because whilst he had never got the chance to know Kelly when she was in College, he hoped that if she had of been in the same place as the barista, someone would have done the same.

When he had his steaming coffee he was all set to leave when he heard a voice from behind him. "You are ignoring me Agent Gibbs." He turned around to see Doctor Ryan, smiling at him. Her short grey hair looking the same as it always did. Dressed in a plain black pant suit and white blouse. She near always looked the same, that was what made her different to Jenny. She'd always looked different, even when she had her hair short, she'd somehow never have it identical. Her clothes would always be slightly different, and her eyes would always sparkle. He wondered in that moment why he had never confronted her about Paris, why he'd never told her how he felt. Because other than snide remarks about letters he hadn't. Neither of them had. They'd blacked it out like it was some bitter memory, yet when they were alone both would remember the time. Of that he was sure.

"Got a case." He said, looking at her, and realising he felt absolutely nothing.

"That is not what I asked, you are avoiding the question." She said.

"No, I'm saying I have a case which is why we have not spoken."

"And yet you have time to get coffee."

"This turning into an interrogation Doc?"

"Who was that woman in the photo?" She asked, referring to the other night. Gibbs just rolled his eyes and began to walk away. "Hey!" She said, grabbing her own coffee and bag and running after him. "Shutting me out is not healthy."

"Yeah, well it's none of your damn business." HE responded.

"I care Gibbs!" And all of a sudden he felt a wave of guilt, because he knew that deep down it wasn't her fault. That in fact she had done absolutely nothing wrong what so ever.

"I know. Look I've got to go back." And she knew that was the closest to an apology she was going to get.

"Okay, call me when you get a moment, we'll go and get something to eat." She said, kissing his cheek before she walked away. Gibbs watched her go, and whilst he knew she had done nothing wrong, he also knew that she was not the woman for him. Sighing he shook the thoughts away, deciding that since his past was being raked up then that was probably the cause of this whole ordeal with Ryan. He knew he needed to stop thinking about the woman who had stolen his heart years ago, and start thinking about the one who was there.

No more comparing her to Jenny or Shannon.

* * *

Jenny stood behind the bar, her feet were killing her. It turned out that there being a crime scene near to the bar had made it a hot spot. So the lunch time rush had come in slightly later than usual, but lasted twice as long. Her shift should have finished a half hour ago, and she knew that the swarm of CIA agents back in her apartment would be getting antsy. "You go home, I can cope from here." Said Lynne, looking at Jenny. "Plus I'm sure what's his face will be here to do his shift soon." She added, talking about the new lad they had working as a barman.

"You sure, I can work until he gets here if you need me to." Jenny said, deciding she would rather be in the bar than at her apartment hiding in her room like a rebellious anti-social teenager.

"Yeah, you go off!" Said the older woman. Jenny, smiled, thanked her and went to go and grab her bag and phone. She picked it up and was about to head out of the bar when she saw a guy standing at the bar. She knew he had just entered, but hoped to god that he hadn't seen her. She couldn't remember his name or place his face, but she recognised him. And on his hip there was a holstered gun and a federal badge. The design was one that she knew all too well. He was NCIS.

"God!" She muttered to herself, she'd been so close to walking out, and now she was pressed up against the wall, waiting for him to move. She may not remember his name, but she was almost certain that he would remember the name of the woman who had been their director for three years. Leaning her head back she realised that it was time she thought on her feet. Looking around she saw the side exit. But it meant walking across the doorway in full view of him. Her red hair was too much of a give away to risk it.

So she stood there, waiting for what seemed like a lifetime for him to move, hoping and praying that her mobile phone would not ring, but it did, and it was the CIA. She groaned and decided she couldn't just let it ring, yet nor could she stand there hiding. So as normally as she could she answered it, and began to walk. "Hey." She said, a lot more chirpily than she usually answered them.

Jenny didn't know if he had seen her of not, let alone recognise her. But she figured that if he had then she would soon know about it, as her apartment would be on full lockdown as she got back.

* * *

Walking through the door, she slammed it closed behind her. Annoyed at the life of lying she was living. She took off her coat and threw it at one of the agents. "Miss Shepard, they are not your servants!" Said the annoying blonde woman who had been hovering around lately.

"No? Well what else is he doing?!" she responded, and she sat down on the couch and took off her Mary Jane stiletto heels. Before upping and heading towards her room.

"Miss Shepard!" She said again, and Jenny was getting increasingly annoyed at the fact she was constantly been treated like a teenager.

"Yes?" She replied back all too sweetly.

"We need to talk to you." Jenny rolled her eyes and looked over at one of the men who had been with her a record amount of time: nine months! He smirked at her, knowing she was undoubtedly getting annoyed.

"What? Am I in trouble for staying out late now?" She asked.

"I'd appreciate it if you didn't mock our duty Miss Shepard. We are trying to protect you." Said the blonde woman.

"Yes, and don't I know about it." She replied. "Now would you just tell me what it is that you want to talk to me about so that I can have a drink and relax?"

"There have been a few issues." The blonde woman stated, she was the kind who liked to give you snippets of information so you kept asking. The kind of person she was well aware Jethro would kill given an hour in her presence.

"You mean apart from me having to walk the long way home and nearly being caught because of the amount of NCIS agents that are swarming the city?"

"Yes, apart from that."

"Well would you please give me a little insight into what this revelation is?"

"We have it on good authority that NCIS found a droplet of your blood at their crime scene yesterday, and that their forensic scientist has identified it as being yours." Jenny's eyes closed, and she sighed. She had known it was only a matter of time.

"I thought your guys cleaned things up." Said the red head.

"Well it was dark, and the blood was not a large pool so it was not noticed." Jenny sat down, heels still in her hand and eyes closed. As she looked up at the two people in front of her she once more felt like a little child.

"So what happens now?" She asked.

* * *

"Boss! I got something." Said McGee as he saw Gibbs return into the bull pen. The silver haired man walked up to the plasma as McGee began to explain in tech terms what he had down.

"The point McGee!" the silver haired man said, his temper running thin.

"I managed to find out who adopted our dead sailor. And I also found out why it was harder, the CIA are blocking us from seeing half the stuff. CCTV was wiped, and I had to go the really long way around to get into the database." He said, looking up at his boss.

"Why McGee?"

"Because Massey was adopted by Rene Benoit, Gibbs. His sister is Jeanne."

* * *

_I love cliff hanger endings! _

_Please leave me a review! _

__fashiongirl97_


	5. cinq

**Disclaimer – **_NCIS is not mine_

**Author's note – **_Thanks so much for all of your reviews! I love you all! I hope that this chapter is okay, it is not how I imagined this story going but at the same time I think that it will work. _

_Thanks to my wonderful reviewers (e-hug to all!): _GeneaLady, CherryPop0120, left my heart in Paris, RhizOneill, DS2010, Amber SanGiovanni, unaligned fae queen, Jessiqua, and Guest,

_Hope y'all enjoy, and keep the reviews coming please!_

* * *

Ne M'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . .**_

"_We have it on good authority that NCIS found a droplet of your blood at their crime scene yesterday, and that their forensic scientist has identified it as being yours." Jenny's eyes closed, and she sighed. She had known it was only a matter of time. _

"_So what happens now?" She asked._

…

"…_Massey was adopted by Rene Benoit, Gibbs. His sister is Jeanne."_

* * *

_**Now . . .**_

Gibbs glared at McGee; the name had needed no explaining. Following the whole fiasco with the frog over five years ago, Benoit was a name none of them had ever wanted to hear again. But it was Tony that surprisingly enough fell into a completely stunned silence. "How certain are you McGee?" Questioned Gibbs as he looked at the younger agent in front of him. Tim was just as shocked as everyone else at what he had found.

"I'm positive boss." The younger agent said, knowing it was what none of them wanted to hear.

"DiNozzo, David, go pick up Miss Benoit." Said the silver haired man. Ziva pulled on her jacket, sig, badge and bag before stopping still. Tony still stood there, frozen to the spot and not even considering moving. "You got a problem DiNozzo?" Gibbs questioned not in the mood for joking.

"Yeah, I don't think I'm the best person to go. Jeanne . . . she hates me boss. She'll more likely talk if I'm not there." Said Tony, almost choking out her name. There was something about the way he said it that made them all see that he truly was scared of seeing her. And in truth Gibbs knew that his point was valid. All of his team was looking at him, waiting for him to make the decision as to who would be going.

"McGee, go with Ziva. DiNozzo, with me." He said before walking away. Leaving McGee grabbing his stuff in a rush before almost running after the Israeli towards the lift. They stood there waiting, both of them in silence before they stepped in, glaring at the two probie agents already in there to leave. There was something about this case that did not sit right. Too many coincidences. First Jenny's blood was found and then there was a relation to the man she had been accused of killing. Gibbs always said there was no such thing as a coincidence, anyone who didn't believe him would surely not argue in this case?

They stood in the lift. "Something about this is not right. It does not . . . stand right with me." Said Ziva, looking straight ahead at the closed doors.

"Sit." Said McGee, correcting her idiom.

"What? We are in an elevator McGee." She said, looking at him confused.

"No, the saying is 'does not _sit _right'" He added. "But no, it doesn't with me either. Ziva, do you think there is any possibility she is alive?" Questioned McGee, not saying Jenny's name as he did not know how to refer to her, after all he had only ever known her as director, but Leon Vance was now their director.

"I saw her McGee, I found her but . . ." She sighed, and looked down. "In Mossad we had a saying that nothing is ever as it seems. If Jenny was alive I would have liked to have believed she would have found a way to tell us." Said Ziva, remembering the woman who had been her friend, who had saved her ass countless times, both in NCIS and in Mossad many years ago.

"We'll find out what's going on Ziva." Said McGee, feeling as though for once he was not the one who was needing support. Ziva was strong, but this was enough to shake them all. But Ziva had been Jenny's friend, and so in McGee's eyes, she had all due right to be more shaken by the thought than he was. So did Gibbs, but Gibbs was Gibbs, and he could deal with the fact until was not happening most likely until she was stood in front of him. But that was only if she was alive. That was the question now.

Was Jenny Shepard alive?

* * *

Gibbs walked at a speed that made Tony almost have to run to keep up with. They were heading down to Abby's lab, but not once the whole way did Gibbs ever mention what had just happened. In truth though Tony was more than a little please at this, because it meant that he didn't have to feel guilty. Tony still felt bad for everything that had happened to Jeanne, he had broken her heart and yet she had done absolutely nothing wrong.

As they walked into he lab the first thing that struck the both of them was the complete and utter lack of music coming from the lab. "What you got Abs?" questioned Gibbs trying to sound as normal as possible and not worry. As much as he wanted to he needed to know about Jenny before he worried about anything else.

"The bullet ducky retrieved from the wound was a mass produced bullet, it was fired from a sig. I can't narrow it down any further than that. Give me a weapon and I'll tell you if it fired it or not." She said, not once looking away from her screen.

"What about the blood Abby?" He questioned, and she turned around and looked at him.

"I've spoken to everyone, I've seared all over the web, Gibbs I've even called in favours from the CIA. There is no way that blood is old. There is one way it would be preserved, but no way could it last five years, and even if it did then there would be obvious signs it was not fresh." Abby looked at him. "I've had it under the most powerful microscope I can have Gibbs. There are none of those signs."

Gibbs looked at her, not quite believing his ears. Ever since the blood had been found he had been hanging on the thought that it would somehow have been preserved. In a way he had hoped, not because he didn't want to see her, because he did. He'd missed her like hell the past five years. But because if it turned out she was alive then who was to say that she would even want to come back. What was there to prove that she didn't have a new life, a new family? Who said she hadn't moved on? He could find out she was alive and what? Get rejected by her all over again, tear open old wounds only to have salt added?

"What are you saying Abs?" He questioned, needing to hear her say the words he had been kidding himself about.

"Gibbs, Jenny is alive." Said Abby, softly, before enveloping him in a hug. He hugged her back, not knowing what to do or say. And when she let him go, Abby began rambling. "Gibbs, I have looked at that blood, so many times. And you should know that Jenny is fine, that as far as I can tell she is okay-"

"Thanks." He said, before heading out of the lab, and walking away from a gobsmacked Abby and Tony. Gibbs could not bear to even be there in that moment. He needed to breathe, because he had just found out that the love of his live was alive.

* * *

"What happens now?" She asked, the blond woman stood there. She was the kind of woman that back as director Jenny would have admired. Now she was the kind Jenny could not stand. That alone showed how much she had changed since her alleged 'death' five years ago.

"We go on lock down. We move you, die your hair. This is worse than we thought. We are considering taking you to either Mexico or Brazil. You will have a new life." Jenny looked at her, the red head was now at breaking point, and she could not cope anymore.

"No." She said, fiercely but strongly.

"Ms Shepard this is not up for discussion." Said the blonde.

"Yeah? Well it is my life, okay? I have lived this stupid lie for five years. I have gone by your rules and look where it has ended up? Someone trying to kill me!" She shouted back at the woman. It felt like she was a teenager rebelling against her parents, but she was sick of the lie.

"What are you suggesting?" Questioned the woman who Jenny had not bothered to ask name.

"They want to kill me? Then let them try. I'm staying here, for good." She said, before walking into her room, leaving a crowd of shocked CIA agents behind. IT seemed as though no one had ever stood up to the FBI before.

* * *

Gibbs leant against the wall of the stairs that lead up to the catwalk. He was tired, he was stressed, but most of all e was confused. He'd never grieved Jenny's death, yet he had never avenged it either. She'd killed the men who shot her, and then Mike had killed Svetlana. All those years ago it had seemed as though he would not have minded dying, he'd lost the second love of his life. But looking back, he'd known something was off. Gibbs had never looked at Jen's body, never managed to unzip the black body bag. She'd meant too much to him to do so, she meant too much to him.

She was alive and yet as he stood there now he had no idea what he should do. She'd spent five years away, and before that she had only been his boss. Gibbs remembered her saying she had a sister, Heather, somewhere in the world. And he wondered if maybe that was who she now lived with. Or may even have a husband, children? Hell in five years she could have started a damn school and yet he didn't even know. And that left him wondering where he stood. Because when he thought about it, he had been trying to move on. He was with Ryan, and now he had the question, did he go back to Jenny, or did he stick with Ryan.

Past of present?

True love or . . .?

"Gibbs." Said Vance, and he looked up to see the director stood against the bar on the catwalk looking down. The director nodded towards his office and walked away. Gibbs remembered that DiNozzo had said there was a whole 'wink wink nudge' thing going on between him and Leon. But now it all felt like a lie, his whole life felt like a lie, because Gibbs now knew that everyone above him had been lying to him.

Standing up straight the former marine made his way to the bottom of the stairs and began his ascent up them to the director's office. He walked straight past Cynthia, just as he had always done back when she was Jenny's assistant. He momentarily wondered if she knew her former boss and friend was still alive, but he guessed now, otherwise he was pretty sure she would have told him.

When he entered the office he saw Leon sat behind the desk, toothpick in hand. The desk was scratched now, but he remembered that both Tom Marrow and Jenny had always taken such pride in that desk. Before Leon he was pretty sure that there had never even been a scratch on its surface. "Leon?" He stated, asking why he was there when he had a case.

"Miss Scuito ran some blood though the database earlier, why?"

"You mean Jen's blood?" Gibbs asked, almost smirking. "Because it was found at a crime scene."

Leon nodded, deciding that this had gone far enough even if the conversation had only just started. "Agent Gibbs the CIA are taking over this case. You are not to investigate this case any further, understood?"

Gibbs looked at him, deciding that he would completely ignore the order. "Did you know she was alive Leon? Did you even care? Or were you just too anxious to get into the office that you would do anything?" Bitterness laced the former Marine's voice, and the director glared at him.

"Agent Gibbs, I am you superior, this is your final informal warning. If you investigate this case any further then you will be suspended and arrested for obstruction of justice, am I clear?"

"Crystal." He hissed before leaving the office. Gibbs for once smiled at Cynthia, and he knew from her shocked expression exactly what was going on. "Like hell am I leaving this." He muttered before grabbing his phone and ringing Ziva.

"David." She answered.

"Where are you?" He questioned.

"In the car, we will be thirty minutes with McGee's driving." She said, and in any other situation he would have been amused.

"Stop the car, question her there, and take her back. We'll be in autopsy, you drive." HE added.

"What's going on Gibbs?"

"CIA, we are under the radar."He said before hanging up and heading down to autopsy. He was going to find Jenny, all costs necessary.

* * *

_Sorry there was not much of Jenny this time!_

_Please, pretty please review!_

__fashiongirl97_


	6. six

**Disclaimer – **_NCIS is not mine_

**Author's note – **_I want to thank you all for your reviews, I am really surprised. I know there is not much Jibbs so far, but stick with it because there will be, I just don't like to give them an easy ride all of the time ;)_

_Thanks to my reviewers: _GeneaLady, left my heart in Paris, RhizOneill, magiclover13, Guest, and Sasha-038

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . .**_

"_What are you suggesting?" Questioned the woman who Jenny had not bothered to ask name. _

"_They want to kill me? Then let them try. I'm staying here, for good." She said, before walking into her room, leaving a crowd of shocked CIA agents behind._

…

"_What's going on Gibbs?"_

"_CIA, we are under the radar."He said before hanging up and heading down to autopsy. He was going to find Jenny, all costs necessary._

* * *

_**Now . . .**_

They'd spent the rest of the day in autopsy, as well as the night. Abby had stayed up in her lab as she had work to do for other teams, but she spent the whole time on video chat, contributing to ideas and suggestions. Then, when she had finished all of the other work she had she came down too, with three extra large margarita pizzas for them all to share. In Tony's eyes at least she had been a god send, especially seeming he had been complaining he was hungry for hours.

They'd stayed down there all night, eventually, one by one all falling asleep. Of course Gibbs had been the last to go, and the first to wake. So early that morning he made his way down into the autopsy. Already had he ventured home to change into a clean set of clothes and shower, before heading to the coffee shop. Everyone was awoken by the smell of strong coffee as well as food. Even Tony who was reluctant to leave the arms of slumber woke up once he smelt food.

Through whilst the rest of them where heading off to change into spare clothes, Ducky watched Gibbs. He was an old friend, and one who had already lost Jennifer twice in his life. Ducky didn't know how he would cope if once he found her he didn't like what he found or had to lose her again. All the old ME knew was that it might be the final straw for the former marine.

Standing up with creaking bones Ducky realised he was too old for falling asleep in a chair and that his days of doing so were long behind him. Yet still he managed to walk over to Gibbs. "What are you thinking Jethro?" He questioned, wondering why the team leader was staring into outer space.

"What if she doesn't want me Duck? What if when we find her she has moved on and doesn't want to know me – any of us – anymore." He stated talking what he was thinking. The older man looked at Gibbs and didn't know quite what to say.

"Jethro, my boy, Jennifer is her own person, and whether she has moved on or not I'm sure she will let us know. However I am positive that she will not push us away."

"What is there to say she's not married and had kids-"

"Jethro, are you worried about whether she is happy, or are you worried about whether she still had feeling for you?" Ducky asked bluntly.

Gibbs scanned the room, seeing the only people there were the two of them as the rest were changing. "I still love her Ducky."

"And yet you are dating Doctor Ryan?"

"I thought she was dead duck! I thought that I had lost her!"

"Jethro, all I will say is do not burn your bridges with the good Doctor just yet. Jennifer had broken your heart once before. And whilst I see her as a daughter, all I am saying is prepare yourself. She may have a new life where ever she is." Said Ducky before walking away to the kettle. Ducky knew that Gibbs loved Jenny, and he also knew that before she had 'died' she had still loved him. Yet five years had passed and none of them knew what had happened to her or where she had been. Whilst the Scotsman wanted both of his friends to be happy, at the same time he didn't want Gibbs to be left high and dry if he was to suddenly find out that Jenny now loved another man and he had already ended things with the doctor.

* * *

Hours later over at her apartment Jenny woke up. The room seemed so bare and un-homey as she looked around. It made her feel cold, but more so it made her want to curl back up and go to sleep. But the sun was shining outside her window so she got out of bed. Most mornings her first stop was coffee, but the thought of leaving the room and seeing the crowd of agents made her feel sick. So instead she made her bed, and went for a bath. An hour later her hair was dried and she was getting dressed into a pair of skinny fit trousers with a small turn up at the bottom and a sewn crease at the front. On her top half she pulled on a floaty white peasant blouse and left it untucked.

Quickly, with precision and well trained hands she applied her makeup and tied her hair up into a high ponytail. Onto her feet she pulled on a pair of black wedge ankle boots and grabbed her coat and bag. By the time she had had coffee it would be nearing 10:15, so she would have just enough time to walk to the bar in time to help Lynne set up. But when she walked out of her bedroom door everyone turned to stare at her. "What?" She asked walking to the coffee machine and grabbing herself a cup. "What?!" She asked again, getting sick of them all staring.

"Ms Shepard, where do you think you are going?" Said the blonde woman who was once more in the apartment. Jenny rolled her eyes before turning around.

"I have a shift to do." Said the red head, glaring at the blonde and realising she was probably younger than Jenny was, and yet she thought she could tell Jenny what to do. She was beginning to realise what prisoners must feel like when they're in solitary confinement.

"If you are insisting of staying in this city then you will do no such thing!" The blonde retorted.

"On whose command?" Questioned Jenny, feeling herself walk in her directors heels, and take the woman on. "As far as I remember none of you are in charge of me. When I said I was refusing to move, I meant it. I will continue to live as Louise Walters, and that means I will continue to work."

"Like hell you will! You are in witness protection, it is not optional!" he blonde stated, back, Jenny watched as she got more and more flustered as she become more and more annoyed.

"And who is going to stop me!" She shouted back, feeling once more like a rebellious teenager as she grabbed her bag and coat and walked out of the door. They all scrambled to run after her and drag her back. But then the blonde stopped them.

"Two of you, and for god's sake don't let her see you!" said the blonde before she decided that she would call the director of the CIA, and see if he had any tips on how to handle the former Director of NCIS.

* * *

Jenny walked out of the apartment building and onto the sidewalk, she began to make her way towards work when she passed a bakery and realised she had not even had her coffee before she stormed out. So she walked in and ordered a coffee from the young woman behind the counter, and just because she felt like it an almond croissant too.

For the first time in months she felt freer, she was well aware of the two CIA agents walking behind her amongst the crowd, but as she drank her coffee and ate her pastry she was transported back in time to Paris, when she was so much happier. And with Paris came Jethro. Jenny wondered whether he ever thought of her anymore, whether he knew about the droplet of blood that they had found. She guessed her did, but didn't believe it.

In some ways she hoped he had a girlfriend now, someone who he cared about and who cared about him as much too. She hoped that the team was happy and that they all got on. Jen wondered whether Tony and Ziva had finally faced up to how they felt about one another or whether Abby and Tim had for that matter of fact.

She was early for work, but when she walked in Lynne said nothing, as there was something about Jenny that made her realise that she wasn't having a good day. "You okay?" asked the other woman, but Jenny just nodded, before she threw her coffee cup away and hung up her coat and bag. Once her apron was on, she set about wiping the tables in silence, even though they were still wet from Lynne doing them.

* * *

Gibbs walked into Autopsy after showing his face in the bullpen for a while to a group of agents who looked fed up. "Right, what we got! Sum it up." He sated, giving them all some perspective. He watched as they all grabbed their things, but it was Ziva who started.

"Jeanne said that when Rene Benoit was murdered it was Massey hat was the most cut up about it. He suspected Jenny was behind it all along. She says that he was annoyed, especially when she was taken in for questioning. When he left the military he was sure that Jenny was still alive. Jeanne said that he became obsessive in his search for her. But then a couple of weeks ago he said he had something, he wouldn't tell her what though, but it wasn't the first time. She says it would happen about once a year, he would go and find nothing. But this time she knew something wasn't right." Ziva said, and looked at Gibbs, he nodded.

"The blood was Jenny's but she was healthy. The bullet was a standard bullet used by tonnes of people. Jenny had a sister, but as far as I know there is no evidence of Jenny living with her sister now." Tony said, looking at Gibbs.

"I've gone through all the CCTV footage in a mile radius of the alley. It was all wiped clean, deleted by a high tech piece of equipment. Abby can't get anything back off of it. I started trying to find out if anyone has appeared from nowhere, but it was ridiculous. Between WI, legal and illegal immigrants it is impossible." Said McGee, knowing Gibbs would not be happy.

"So we have nothing as to where she is?!" He growled.

"I have an idea Gibbs." Said Ziva, looking at her boss. "If Jenny was down an alley way at nearly midnight then there are few reasons why she would be there. She'd either be on her way home from work or off out to a bar. But considering she is most likely under witness protection the chances of her going out are slim."

"So you're saying she was working?"

"I think that is the most likely idea, and considering the time, I think a bar or restaurant is most likely."

Gibbs nodded. "Go with DiNozzo, show her picture around, and find out! McGee, go through the staff register of every bar, restaurant, hotel, club in the city. We have to find her." He said, watched as they all got busy and Tony and Ziva ran out. "We have to find her." He said, to himself, almost praying that they would be able to. If they couldn't, he didn't know what he would do, or how he would cope.

* * *

_Please revie__w!_

_Sorry it wasn't as long :(_


	7. sept

**Disclaimer – **_NCIS is not mine_

**Author's note – **_Thank you for all of the support so far, I am glad that you are enjoying this story. _

_I know Gibbs' emotions are a little confusing but I think he would be that way. I'm trying to show that he is still in love with Jenny, but trying to protect his heart as he believes that she will have moved on. And whilst he can't get his mind off of her, he decides to continue dating Ryan. Hope it makes sense, and don't worry, not too much more of her left. _

_Thanks to my reviewers: _GeneaLady, Amber SanGiovanni, left my heart in Paris, and RhizOneill

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . .**_

"_So you're saying she was working?"_

"_I think that is the most likely idea, and considering the time, I think a bar or restaurant is most likely." _

_Gibbs nodded. "Go with DiNozzo, show her picture around, and find out! McGee, go through the staff register of every bar, restaurant, hotel, club in the city. We have to find her."_

* * *

_**Now . . . **_

At first Gibbs didn't know why he had sent tony and Ziva to find Jenny and not him instead. And as he began to pace autopsy Ducky was beginning to wish he had gone. But it didn't take long for it to dawn on the silver haired marine the reason he hadn't gone. It was Ducky's fault. When he had spoken to the wise doctor he had expected him to say that if they found Jenny, then the pair of them getting back together was a good idea. Yet he hadn't, in fact from where Gibbs was standing it sounded as though he thought it was a bad idea.

Whilst he was partially confused as the why the good old doctor thought this, yet he also knew it was partially because he didn't want Gibbs to get hurt. However this marine was now just even more confused. And as Gibbs looked at a message from Ryan, he realised that he had back himself into a corner. That he was head over heels in love with her and yet found himself already deciding that she didn't love him. Gibbs had decided that five years under the radar meant that she had fallen for someone else and moved on. He was so confident of this decision that he decided he would call Ryan and go out for coffee with her whilst his team found Jenny.

"Of for Coffee." Said Gibbs as he walked out of autopsy, but McGee had seen the name Ryan flash up on his bosses screen. McGee usually avoided meddling in other people's business, but in this instance he found himself getting annoyed with his boss, and angry that when they were in touching distanced of their former Director he would rather be with his new girlfriend.

So McGee and Ducky watched as Jethro left. Ducky realising that what he had said to Gibbs may not have been the right thing. Yet he had meant it with good intentions. He had not wanted his old friend to find that Jenny had moved on no longer wanted to be with him. Especially not when he had just finished with Ryan for her. Yet it seemed as though ducky had not been as clear as he wanted and now had the fear of dread that he may just have caused his friend his happiness.

McGee looked down at his computer and decided that he needed to talk to Abby. And as if by magic she appeared. He smiled at her and she walked over. "Where is everyone?" She asked, pouting slightly at no one having told her where they were going. McGee smiled at her.

"Tony and Ziva have a potential lead on director Shepard." He said, deciding unless she asked he would not tell her about Gibbs, after all it would upset her. But if she asked he knew he would not lie to her. Because she deserved the truth.

"Yeye!" She squealed closing distance between them and hugging Tim. She had a massive grin on her face that was extremely contagious. Duck watched and found he too was smiling at the younger agents and the forensic scientist. "What was the lead?" Abby asked, wanting to know so that she could find some way to help them.

"Ziva thinks that Director Shepard was in the alley because she was on her way home from work. So they're showing her photo around and interviewing people at bars." He said, smiling as she sat down next to him, her I Pad sitting in front of her, preparing herself to be able to help.

"So what are we doing Timmy?" She asked eagerly. Getting set up and ready to help.

"Checking staffing records for the bars." He said, and watched as Abby began to get set up.

Ducky smiled from behind them, watching as the pair began to work in perfect sync, almost like they were two parts of the same whole. There was an unbreakable bond between them. Ducky knew at one point they had dated, but not at present. However it was often amusing to watch as they danced around one another, both getting jealous when someone began to grow close to the other.

"McGee?" Said Abby, a frown all of a sudden crossing her face as realisation hit her.

"Yeah?" He questioned, eyes not leaving the screen as he scanned though personnel pictures and his fingers tapped away almost forming their own beat as they did.

"Where did you say Gibbs was?" She asked, turning to glare at him.

"I didn't." He replied turning to her and becoming more scared of Abby than he was of Gibbs in that moment as her piercing eyes drilled holes into him. Her glare was just as intense – if not more so – than Gibbs', so it didn't take long for McGee to spill. "He went out for coffee." He stated, but Abby knew there was something missing.

"McGee!" She warned him.

"With Doctor Ryan." He said before looking away. Abby's face fell, she looked shocked.

"Why?!" She questioned, upset.

"I don't know Abby."

"But, if we are close to finding Jenny then he would want to be here, he would want to find her. He's missed her McGee, why would he do this?" Questioned Abby. McGee pulled her into a hug, as the Goth became shocked, annoyed and horrified by the man she worshipped.

"I may be the reason." Said Ducky, noticing that Abby was obviously in distress.

"What do you mean Ducky?" Asked Abby, quietly.

"I may have said that he should not burn his bridge with the doctor until he knew that Jenny had not moved on and fallen for someone else." Said Ducky, feeling ashamed of himself.

"But why would she have Ducky?"

"It has been five years my dead. It is not an impossible scenario."

"No!" Abby said glaring at him. "No! Jenny still loves him. I know so because she told me that 'Sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality in front of you and accept it'. She was talking about Gibbs Ducky!"

"That may be so my dear, but that was five years ago."

"I will find her and prove to you that she still loves him!" Said Abby before turning back to her I Pad and continuing with her task with even more determination that before.

* * *

The bar was getting full of people, and Jenny was beginning to relax. She preferred the bar when it was busy and she was rushed of her feet. There was so many more people that she didn't have time to move slowly and worry about being spotted, in fact she didn't have time to worry. That was why she liked it. Currently she stood behind the bar pouring pint after pint for builders who had come in on their afternoon off. They flirted with her and she flirted back. At first, in the first bar she worked in she hadn't, but now, five years on it was a kind of reassurance that there was still a chance that someone out there might find her attractive.

She smiled as she took the man's money and put it into the till. Moving quickly and with a fluid motion that came only with someone who was well accustomed to what they did. Lynne worked next to her, both taking one side of the bar each. They worked in perfect sync, almost like an act. When someone requested a bear that was on Lynne's side she would throw the bottle over, and they'd all laugh. Now and again there would be a cocktail evening, and the pair would make the drinks as though they were something out of cocktail.

To most who watched them go about their work, it would seem like the two had worked together for an eternity, and knew ever wrinkle and frown line of the other. When in actual fact they had worked together for not even a year, and Lynne knew only the bare minimum about the woman she worked with day in day out.

"Have you cheered up now?" Asked the older woman as the rush began to settle and Jenny set about wiping the bar free of spillages.

"Yeah, sorry 'bout that. Bad morning." Said Jenny, smiling reassuringly. The truth was that Jenny had decided that she would forget about everything to do with the CIA as much as she could. That if they wanted to try and control her they could try, but it would not work.

"You want to talk about it?" questioned Lynne, although she already knew that she would end up being shot down. She always was whenever she offered the other woman help. Yet she was never offended, the red head was a private woman and she respected that.

"Nah. Nothing to talk about really. I blame it on hormones." Said Jenny trying to lighten the mood. Lynne let a small smile cross her face and nodded before returning to the pint she was in the process of pulling. There was something about Louise Walters, the red head who she worked with, that didn't quite fit. And whilst she was dying to know what it was, she would ever ask.

* * *

Gibbs was sat on a park bench with Ryan drinking coffee from a starbucks 'to go' cup. Ryan sat next to him, softly looking at him and knowing something was not right. When he had agreed to go to coffee it would be an understatement to say she was surprised. In fact she had nearly dropped the phone. She was sure he was going to say no and blow hr off once more. Yet there he sat. However he was only with her in body, not in mind.

"What's going on Gibbs?" She asked, watching as he took another drink of his burning hot coffee.

"Nothing." He said, looking back at her. Trying as he did so, not to compare her with Jenny. Because he had come to the decision that Ducky was right, even though he knew it was the wrong decision, if that made any sense.

"I can read you." She stated.

'Not as well as Jen could' was his immediate thought before he brushed it away and tried to forget about the redhead. "Tough case." Was all he said.

"You want to talk about it? As much as you may hate it, talking can help." She said.

"Just old stuff being dug up." He stated, deciding that was as close to the truth as he was willing to say at that moment.

"Well don't let it drag you down; you need to concentrate on your present." She said.

"Yeah, it's what Ducky said."

"Then maybe you should listen to us! We are Doctors for a reason." She said, laughing before kissing his cheek.

* * *

Tony and Ziva walked down the street not far away from the alley way where they had found their former directors blood. They were bickering as usual, this time about a waiter who tried to hit on Ziva. Tony was getting jealous and Ziva was trying t point out that she did not flirt back. However neither was winning the argument. So far they had been to numerous bars and restaurants and were heading to a small bar which one of the restaurants had said to try; apparently it didn't have any website so not many people knew about it. Ziva had said it sounded like the perfect place for someone under WI to go, that that was where they were heading.

As they went they passed a group of builders who were heading the opposite way, numerous wolf whistles and Ziva laughed at the attention. "How do you know they were not whistling at me?" Said Tony, getting anode with all the attention Ziva was getting.

"Really Tony?" Said the Israeli as they walked.

"Why is it so hard to believe that I may be attractive to the homosexual community?" He questioned, looking at Ziva.

"You are absolutely unbearable!" She stated as she pushed the door to the bar open.

Tony looked hurt as they walked in. The place was small, yet it seemed relatively busy. There were numerous tables and a small stage in the corner where the open mike night would most likely take place. Behind the bar was a woman who was older than the two agents but had a warm smile. "Hello, my name is Special Agent David, and this is my partner Special Agent DiNozzo." Said Ziva, stepping forward as Tony looked around. "We're from NCIS."

"It's Naval-"Began Tony.

"Oh I know what it is." She said with a smile. "How can I help you? I'm Lynne, the owner."

"We're looking for a woman; she went by the name of Jennifer Shepard five years ago. We think she may be able to aid us in a murder case." Said Tony, as Ziva showed her the picture.

"Have you seen her around, even if she was just a customer?" Questioned Ziva. Both had said their lines so many times that they would probably be saying them in their sleep for the next five months.

"Yeah, I've seen her." Said Lynne, looking confused. "But I don't know any Jenny Shepard. But that's my bar maid."

"What?" Said Tony.

"Yeah, that's her. That's Louise Walters. Been working here for a while now, best bar maid I've had in years."

"So you know where she lives." Ziva asked.

"Nah, but I'm sure she'll tell ya both. She'd out the back. You want me to get her?"

"Well it would help." Tony managed to say, but then out came Jenny. Smiling and about to say something to Lynne when her eyes caught onto Tony and Ziva.

"Dammit." She said, because they had seen her, and there was nowhere to hide. It looked like her cover had just been blown, and the CIA were about to have a field day.

* * *

_Review?_


	8. huit

**Disclaimer – **_NCIS isn't mine_

**Author's note – **_Thank you for all of your reviews, I'm really surprised we're already on eight chapters and that you are sticking with it! You will half like me for this chapter, and then hate me! But stick with it, and I promise it will change. _

_Thanks to my reviewers! _Left my heart in Paris, Lucyhf, RhizOneill, and Jessiqua.

_I will most likely not be updating tomorrow. _

_Enjoy!_

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . .**_

"_No!" Abby said glaring at him. "No! Jenny still loves him. I know so because she told me that 'Sometimes you can't control the outcome. Sometimes you have to look at the reality in front of you and accept it'. She was talking about Gibbs Ducky!"_

"_That may be so my dear, but that was five years ago."_

"_I will find her and prove to you that she still loves him!"_

…

"_Well don't let it drag you down; you need to concentrate on your present." She said. _

"_Yeah, it's what Ducky said." _

"_Then maybe you should listen to us! We are Doctors for a reason." She said, laughing before kissing his cheek. _

…

_Then out came Jenny. Smiling and about to say something to Lynne when her eyes caught onto Tony and Ziva._

"_Dammit." She said, because they had seen her, and there was nowhere to hide. It looked like her cover had just been blown, and the CIA were about to have a field day._

* * *

_**Now . . .**_

"Louise, these people think you are some person named Jennifer Shepard. She looks just like you." Said Lynne, turning to the mysterious red head. Jenny looked confused at Lynne before turning to Tony and Ziva who were still trying to pick their jaws up off of the ground.

"I'm not Jenny Shepard, I'm Louise Walters." Said, Jenny, almost glaring at them, hoping to god that one of them would be smart enough to catch on. She watched as Tony was about to say something but received an elbow in the ribs from Ziva to shut him up.

"We must have made some mistake with your name." said Ziva, turning to Tony who finally caught on way too late and nodded back. "Would you mind accompanying us back to the Navy yard? We need to ask you some questions." Lynne watched the exchange, feeling as though she was being played. Over the years she had learnt how to read people, but knew that now was not the time. She would wait until the agents were gone and the red head was on her own before discussing the matter further.

"Is it alright?" Jenny asked the owner, who nodded politely. The red head grabbed her bag and Jacket before following the pair outside. They walked to the car in silence, none wanting to be overheard by passersby and yet none knowing quite what to say either.

The car ride was pretty much the same. Ziva drove meaning there was a lullaby of bar horns and screaming that followed them. Neither could get over how Jenny had changed. The long hair, the weight lost, but almost the feeling she had become a different person in her time away. Tony looked at her and decided she had gotten impossibly more attractive. He decided if their former director had looked anything like she did now when she was a probie then he envied Gibbs for crossing the line with her. He knew he would.

"Tony stop gawking." Said Jenny who was looking out of the window. The Italian faked being confused for a minute before she looked over and he realised she was still the director in some ways: she still had eyes in the back of her head.

"I wasn't –"He began, wanting to defend himself. But then he saw her as she quirked and eyebrow and fell silent. "Sorry."

"I thought Gibbs had a rule about that? Or has he stopped teaching you them." Jenny asked, smirking and enjoying teasing the younger agent.

"Well he does . . . but . . . I mean."

"Tony, I believe Jenny is pulling your arm." Said Ziva as they entered the city.

"leg." Tony and Jenny replied in unison.

"What difference does it make?" Ziva said and the red head laughed before falling silent and returning her gaze to out of the window. Tony looked across at Ziva, a nervous tension building between the two. They had been the ones to say she was dead, and yet there she was in the back seat of a government vehicle living under a different name.

"It wasn't your fault." Said Jenny, not looking away from the window, but they knew exactly what she meant. "It was the CIA, I don't know how they did it but they did. You did all you could've." She added, turning to look at the front of the car.

"But I knew something was wrong Jenny, I was your partner-"Began Ziva.

"Was Zi, was. You obeyed a director order from your director."

"But we should have known, Ziva knew something was wrong and I assumed you had a man in your hotel room somewhere." Said Tony, adding to the conversation.

"In your shoes I would have thought the same thing. Neither of you did anything wrong." And the way she said it ended the conversation. As they approached the Navy Yard Jenny had a sick feeling in her stomach. She was going to NCIS, the agency she used to run and was filled with people who thought she was dead. She was in no other words bricking it. "Do we have to do this here? Can't we do it someplace else?" She asked, quietly in a voice that was not one she had ever used as Director. But she wasn't that person anymore, and she'd be damned if being in that building again was going to turn her into that person again.

"I'm sorry Jenny, but Gibbs will want you brought here." Said Ziva, but his name made Jenny's stomach fill with butterflies. It was then she realised neither of the agents had taken or made a phone call since meeting her.

"Does he know I'm here?" She asked, wondering why there was a lock of communication.

"No, we decided it would be best if we told him when we got back. McGee said he was still out for coffee when we set off." Ziva spoke again; Tony was still drowning in guilt.

"Okay." Jenny said, quietly. When the car pulled to a halt she pulled out her red lipstick and swiftly applied a coat. It was almost a boost of confidence, something she had worn since she was probie.

They got out of the car and headed to the lift, but Jenny noticed that Ziva pressed autopsy and not the bull pen. Jenny looked at her friend, a little confused at the turn of events. "We're working under the radar." Said Tony, butting in before Ziva confused them all by getting and idiom wrong. "Turns out someone didn't want us finding you."

"There are a hell of a lot of people who don't want me found, Vance included." She stated, and looked at their shocked faces. "You don't think he didn't know do you?"

"I guess not." Tony said, before walking out of the lift and into the autopsy room. But Jenny stopped sharp of the door, moving back so no one inside could see her. She leant against the wall and took a deep breath. She'd wanted someone to find her for years, she'd wanted to come back to this place and see them all. But now she was here she had a feeling of dread, worried they would all hate her for what she had put them through. As she turned to look at the lift, planning her exit she found Ziva.

"Everything will be alright Jenny." The Israeli said in soft Hebrew. It took Jenny a moment to translate the sentence, realising that her Hebrew was even rustier than her French was.

"I'm scared Ziva. I'm not the strong Director I was before." She replied, slower but still in Hebrew. It was true; she was scared of everything, of them seeing her, hating her, not wanting her in their lives. But most of all she was scared of Gibbs. Scared he had moved on, terrified he wouldn't like the person she had become over the last five years.

"And they will love you for who you are now. We have missed you Jenny." Ziva added, returning to English as she knew her friends mind was already racing without the need for her to add to it by making her translate.

Jenny nodded and hugged the younger woman, and Ziva realised that living a lie on her own had almost melted away the shell that had guarded Jenny when she was a director. Jenny smiled "Toda"

"Al-lo-davar." Ziva stated, before walking with her friend into Autopsy.

"Where is she?!" Abby asked Tony, desperate to see the 'mother' of their 'family'. The Goth was bouncing around, ducky was looking nervous but thankful at the same time whilst Tony and McGee were sat there arguing about who was going to tell Gibbs they had found her and not told him sooner. They stopped however when a loud squeal nearly burst their eardrums. "Jenny!" Abby squealed before running over to the red head.

Jenny had missed Abby's bone crunching hugs, and it felt god to be hugged again, it had been a long time. "It's good to see you Abs." said the red head, using the nickname she had adopted from Gibbs for the Goth.

"I missed you!" Said Abby, looking at the red head. Abby noticed the difference immediately, the softer image: long hair, softer makeup, floatey top. She also noticed the way he eyes scanned the room, and showed sadness when they did not find Jethro.

"Jennifer my dear, it is good to see you." Said Ducky stepping forward and hugging the younger woman. Jenny hugged him back, whispering softly in his ear:

"I really missed you Ducky."

"As I did you my dear." HE replied before she parted. She smiled at McGee who smiled back.

"Where is he?" She asked Ziva softly, who was stood close to her side. Jenny felt scared, and everyone watching her saw a different woman.

"He's out with Doctor Ryan." Said McGee. "Tony is going to tell him that you are here."

"No, McGee is going to ring him."

"No tony is going to ring him!" The pair argued. Jenny turned around and took a deep breath. She'd seen so much in the last five years, dealt with so much. And now she was inside these walls of NCIS, it seemed like everything was magnified. This had been more her home than her townhouse had been. Now her walls were beginning to fall down.

"Who is ringing who?!" Said a voice from the door. Gibbs arrived, stood there glaring at the two agents. Jenny's heart beat rose at the sound of him.

"Well boss the thing is." Tony began.

"That we erm . . ." McGee began.

"Found me." Jenny said, standing up and looking at him. "Hello Jethro." She stated, hoping her eyes did not show that she was terrified, hurt and had missed him like hell. His jaw dropped, she was here. He couldn't take his eyes off of her. She looked amazing. Her back long again, legs that went on forever. He realised in that moment he had been stupid to stay with Ryan. "Shall we skip the; you haven't changed a bit bull?" She asked him, repeating the lines she had said to him all those years ago on her first day as director.

The whole team watched as they began to stare at each other, Jenny moved forward to talk to him. But then the doors opened and in came another woman, with short spiky hair that looked like the pixie cut Jenny had worn years ago. Jen watched as she moved next to Gibbs and took his hand. HE looked uncomfortable, but not as much as Jenny.

"I'm Sam Ryan, Jethro's partner." She said, and watched as the confusion spread across her face. "But not at work." she said with a smile. Jenny felt her heart break. She'd hoped to god he would want her back, but he didn't, and she was not about to make him chose.

"Jenny." She said, nodding and looking at the woman.

"Jen, I-"Began Gibbs but she shook her head.

"Jenny, I need to talk to you about the case." Said Ziva, coming forward to help save Jenny.

"I'll do it Ziva." Gibbs stated, but Jenny turned away from him.

"She can manage." Jenny said before walking out of the room with Ziva, leaving Gibbs confused and Abby glaring at him.

"What Abs?" He questioned the Goth.

"You're just going to let her go all over again!" Abby said to him. But she didn't give him a chance to reply because she walked out of autopsy and headed to her lab. It was then Gibbs noticed that his whole team was ignoring him.

* * *

"Jenny what happened?" Ziva asked. They were sat in the break room, it was quiet and they both had a cup of coffee in their hands. Jenny looked up at the younger agent and told her the facts, about how she was walking home and got attacked. "Who shot him?"

"One of the CIA agents. It was either that or I died." Jen bluntly stated.

"What about the blood."

"They know how to clear up a scene Ziva, or at least they thought they did." Ziva jut nodded, and looked at the woman in front of her.

"Are you okay Jenny?"

"Yeah, yeah I am." She stated, deciding to leave her emotional self down in autopsy and be strong. "Is that all?"

"Yeah, that's it."

"Good, I think I best be getting home. The CIA is going to have a fit." She stated smirking.

"I will take you."

* * *

Jenny walked out of the lift towards the car that was waiting for her. She'd said goodbye to them all and promised to keep in touch. However it was a promise she did not know if she would be able to fulfil until she had spoke with the CIA agents that were in her house. However Jenny was going to fight to be able to. As she walked her heals echoed in the area. "Jenny." She heard and turned around to see Jethro running after her. She was half tempted to walk away, but cared too much to do that again. "Look Jenny I-"

"I'm happy for you." She stated, not giving him chance to talk. "You needed to move o and I understand that. I'm pleased that you've managed to, just don't expect me to like her Jethro." And with that she left him standing there gobsmacked in the middle of the parking lot.

He'd just lost Jennifer Shepard for a third time. And now he wasn't sure whether it was her trying to save him, or whether she just didn't want to b with him again. And that was something he had to work out, if only he wasn't still string Doctor Ryan along.

* * *

_Pretty please review!_


	9. neuf

**Disclaimer – **_I don't own NCIS or the song featured_

**Author's note – **_So, sorry for the delay, I had my prom last night which was amazing! Anyway, hope you enjoy this, the song featured is called 'Getaway Car' and is by a band called Thomson Square who are brilliant! So check it out. _

_Thanks to my reviewers: _ GeneaLady, Jessiqua, Amber SanGiovanni, left my heart in Paris, RhizOneill, Mlanie, Magiclover13, EowynGoldberry, Neelie2009, and ncisqueen.

_This chapter isn't great but enjoy…_

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . .**_

"I'm Sam Ryan, Jethro's partner." She said, and watched as the confusion spread across her face. "But not at work." she said with a smile. Jenny felt her heart break.

…

"What Abs?" He questioned the Goth.

"You're just going to let her go all over again!" Abby said to him

…

"I'm happy for you." She stated, not giving him chance to talk. "You needed to move o and I understand that. I'm pleased that you've managed to, just don't expect me to like her Jethro."

* * *

_**Now . . . **_

That night Jenny had returned to her flat and been welcomes by half of the CIA, including their director. And all gathered in the living area drinking coffee way too weak for her liking they had discussed what would happen. They'd wanted to move her, start again. But she'd stood up to them all over again. She'd fought them to the end, not stopping until she was happy with the agreement.

The director the CIA had sat there watching her, remembering the days when she had been the Director of NCIS and fighting over cases with him. She'd fought him against hat evening, and finally been granted what she wanted. Jenny Shepard was back using her own name. She'd have to tell Lynne, but there would be no big press announcement. She could go back to being herself. Yet she wasn't allowed to move back to DC just yet. In fact she had to stay in the city until they deemed it safe to go back. But for the moment Jenny could cope.

She went to bed happy that night, and slept the whole night through. The next morning she rang her shocked sister and explained why a supposedly dead woman was ringing her. And by the end of the phone call Heather was flying over in a matter of hours to see her sister. Once that call was made She rung Lynne and asked for the week off, which she was granted as long and a full length explanation was given as to 'what the bloomin' heck is going on!' when she returned.

* * *

However for Gibbs, that night he sat in a restaurant with Ryan, not knowing what the hell he was doing, just knowing that he had let her walk out again. But he slept alone that night, staring down at old pictures and letting himself get drowned in old memories. Sat in his basement not even his boat could put his mind to rest. The next day at work he just sat there, whilst Tony and Ziva argued, whilst Abby and Tim flirted and didn't say a word.

It would be so easy for him to go to her and tell Jenny Shepard he still loved her, and he wanted to. But something was holding him back. In Paris he thought they were happy, and then she left. Not that he blamed her; he knew that he'd called her Shannon one too many times. Yet that was what held him back, the knowledge he had broken her in Paris that she had left him. That they had been some beautiful disaster that was too broken.

So that week Gibbs just worked, he tried to forget Jenny, which was no easy task when every time Abby saw him she glared at him and acted as though he was just any other agent. He tried to get on, but by the time over a week had come and gone this former Marine had had enough. Except he realised this when he was sat having coffee with Ryan at lunchtime.

She looked over at him; she looked the same as always. Dressed in a black pant suit with a white blouse. Her grey hair spiked in the same way, wearing the same jewellery. "Are you ever going to tell me about Jennifer Shepard? The woman who was meant to be dead?" She asked him with a smile. But he was not in the mood. Ever since she had met Jenny she hadn't shut up. Of course she had recognised her her from that photo and decided she would bug him constantly.

"Just drop it Ryan." He said, before drinking more of his coffee.

"No Gibbs. I know there was something between you, the way she looked at me, the way she wanted to hold your hand, wanted to be with you. And now you deny all knowledge."

"Seriously? What do you want me to say?"

"I want you to admit to me what you are feeling, because since you saw her you've given me nothing but the cold shoulder!"

"I don't know how I feel Ryan! Did I love her? Did I have feeling for her? Yes. Do I still? Yes."

"Well why didn't you just say that?"He looked at her, stood up and began to walk out. He was sick of kidding himself. "Gibbs!" She shouted after him, getting up and following the former Marine.

"What?"

Ryan looked at him, with eyes that had turned cold. "She'd welcome to you, she always had you." And with that she walked away, leaving Gibbs even more confused. Now he was single and had nothing holding him back, apart from the fear she would have moved on. With a slight sigh he began walking back to the Navy Yard, and straight down to Autopsy.

* * *

The room was cold as always. All Ducky's 'visitors' had been put away and now the Scottish ME was sat at his desk working on some paperwork, glad of the silence that came with Mr. Palmers absence. In the last week Ducky had found that he was feeling more and more as though he had told Gibbs the wrong thing. He'd spoken to Jenny on the phone a few days later, and she'd told him about her life, about the fact that she lived alone (unless you counted the swarm of CIA agents). She'd told him about her job and the singing. About how her life was changing. Ducky had listened to her with a smile, realising that she had reformed into the woman she had been as a probie. Throughout the conversation he'd heard her laugh more times than he had in the whole time she was Director.

Ducky was brought from his thoughts as he heard the swish of the automatic doors opening and Jethro walking in. The old doctor turned to him and smiles warmly. "What can I do for you?" HE asked, knowing that his friend had a lot on his mind.

"Did . . . Did you talk to Jen?" He asked, perching on the end of one of the metal tables that had been a bed for him numerous times over the years.

"Yes I did." Gibbs just nodded, not knowing what to say.

"It's over, with Ryan. She ended it."

"Does this mean you want to get Jennifer back?" Ducky had seen Gibbs and Jenny's whole relationship, he'd watched them get closer and then watched as it rubbed her down and broke apart. It had been a tale of heartbreak. But Ducky knew there had always been a strong bond between them, a caring. IT was the ammunition for most of their fights, and it had remained strong even to her very last day.

"I still love her Duck, I do' think I ever didn't. But. . . "

"But you are scared?"

"Nah Duck, not scared, worried."

"About what?"

"Has she moved on?"

"Not to the best of my knowledge Jethro."

"Thanks." He said, before standing up and going to leave.

"Jethro." Said Ducky, and the Marine turned around. "You won't find her address on record. Go to the bar where Tony and Ziva found her, that's where she works."

"She be there?"

"I don't know, but it is worth a try."

"Yeah." And with that the silver haired Marine left autopsy and headed up to the bull pen, in a better mind set than he had been all week. That evening he would sort things out for good.

* * *

It was gone seven in the evening and Jenny was sat in her room getting ready to go to the bar. She was still on holiday today so she wasn't dressed in her usual white blouse and black trousers. But she was going because she knew that Lynne deserved and explanation, in addition to that it was open mike night and she had a new song she was considering playing.

The red head looked in the mirror and smiled, since being allowed to use her real name and see her sister her world seemed to have gotten a lot brighter in Jenny's world. She smiled more often and everything was generally brighter. She looked in the mirror and added a coat of red lipstick. She was dressed in a pair of figure hugging dark washed skinny jeans that fit her perfectly. The good thing about WP was that she didn't have to pay for much so had decided to buy herself a pair of Levi's jeans. On her top half she had on an emerald green, sleeveless floaty top that had a low enough neckline to have some fun. Around her neck was a sparkly necklace and she had on a pair of killer high black stilettos with an ankle strap.

She smiled at her appearance, her hair long and wavy before leaving the room, grabbing her leather jacket and heading out, the CIA close behind her. She walked to the bar with confidence, her head held high and small smile on her face. It almost felt to Jenny as though she had a new life, as though she were not back in her old one but on a completely new page. In some ways she felt like her younger self, happy and laid back, smiling and joking. Yet at the same time too, she felt like a new person. There was no overwhelming urge to prove herself, no need to be the best. She had money, she had a job and she had friends too.

The CIA had decided that it was best to put a set team as her protection, which meant that there would be no constant change of agents, which also made her happier. She'd started to get to know a few of them, have a laugh and a joke. It was something she had never done before. Jenny walked down the street that went towards the bar and smiled as she pushed the door open. The bar was softly filled with music as open mike night had begun. The tables had been moved so that they all faced the small stage. She walked over to the bar and smiled at Lynne who was pulling a pint.

"Well the mystery wanderer returns." She stated, smiling at Jenny. The red head smiled back and watched as another male bartended took over with the pint and Lynne walked over. "So are you ever going to tell what that whole NCIS thing was about?"

"I will . . . but you probably won't believe me." said Jenny, smiling and walking behind the bar to grab herself a lemonade.

"Help yourself!" Said Lynne sarcastically.

"Take it outta my wages." Jenny laughed before sitting down on the other side of the bar.

"Okay, so spill."

"I don't know where to start!"

"Erm . . . the beginning."

"Clever!" Jenny retorted whilst rolling her eyes. "Okay, so firstly, my name is not Louise Walters." The red head said, watching as confusion washed over the other woman's face. "My name is Jenny Shepard, and for the last five years I have been living under witness protection."

"Well . . . that's . . . okay."

"I was the director of NCIS and had a lot of people trying to kill me or hurt me. So somehow the CIA faked my death." Said the red head.

"Right. So why tell me now?"

"The killing down the alley, I was there. When I was walking home that night I went down an alley and the guy attacked me. He pulled a knife out and cut my throat. The CIA thought they had gotten rid of all trace but there was a single drop of blood. Turns out the guy was an officer and so NCIS got involved."

"They found the blood. . . "

"And found me." Said Jenny.

"So what now? You go somewhere else?"

"No, they believe that the risk had been reduced enough. So now I'm kind of free. I just have to stay in the city."

"So . . . Jenny, you still wanna work here?"

"Of course I do." Replied the red head with a smile on her face.

"Good, because I got word there is a stag party heading this way tomorrow night and I need you." Stated Lynne before walking off.

"Good to know what you want me for!"

"You gonna get a proper drink seeming as I'm not making you get behind this bar tonight?"

"Depends if you're gonna let me get up onstage."

"That can be arranged." The older woman said with a smile as she placed a glass of bourbon in front of her before she went back to work.

* * *

Gibbs sat in his car later that night, outside of the bar where Tony and Ziva had found Jenny, trying to decide whether this was a good idea. HE sat there, wondering whether she would even be in there, whether if she was she'd even want him. The last time he'd seen her she'd driven away, leaving him and telling him to basically live his own life. And now . . . now he was not sure whether if she was there she'd even care if he was.

But he decided that he would, he looked out and decided that he wouldn't know if he didn't try. So he got out of his car and walked over the street and into the bar. Looking around he saw it was nothing special other than a small backstreet bar. But there was something warming about the pace. "What can I get ya?" Asked a black haired woman from behind the bar. Gibbs walked over.

"Bourbon – neat." He stated, dropping the money onto the bar.

"Only one other person than comes here who drinks that paint stripper."

"It's an acquired taste." He stated, looking around the bar area to try and find Jenny.

"Yeah, she says that too." Lynne replied before going to another customer.

Gibbs looked around, and was about to give up, deciding that she would have moved on now and wouldn't even be there. Then he heard an all so familiar voice coming through the microphone and looked around, and then he saw her. Smiling like she was ten years younger, with her long red hair and crimson lips.

"So, I wrote this song a week or so ago, and it's kind of bout me wanting someone to save me from the life I was living. And now it kind of happened, just not how I had imagined it to. So here we go, this is called 'get away car' and I hope that you all like it.

"What if I was Jesse James  
or had one of them outlaw names?  
Could you handle my Wild West games  
Livin' on the run?

"What if we were Bonnie and Clyde  
With Tommy guns, runnin' from the blue lights  
And lovin', livin' on the wild side  
Just for fun?"

Jethro listened, he'd never realised she could sing, let alone play guitar as well. As he watched her, long finger moving gracefully from fret to fret as she played each chord, the way her thumb gracefully strummed the strings so they all sounded together. He realised that there was a lot he didn't know about Jenny.

"Would you drive my getaway car?  
Chasin' dreams like a couple young hearts  
Hidin' out underneath the stars  
Would you drive my getaway car?

"This town's just a little black dot  
A quiet place that time forgot  
One light and a four way stop  
On a two lane road

"What if we hit the gas?  
Run away and never look back  
Hey, what you think about a fall like that?  
Baby, I wanna know

"Would you drive my getaway car?  
Chasin' dreams like a couple young hearts  
Hidin' out underneath the stars  
Would you drive my getaway car?  
Would you drive my getaway car?"

As she sung the final verse he realised the song was about someone saving her from the lie she had been living. He realised that she must have wanted him to come and save her. He watched as everyone clapped for her, as everyone whooped and hallowed. She looked amazing, laughing and joking with people, and elegantly climbing down from the stage in those impossibly high heels.

"She's good huh?" Said the woman behind the bar, and he just nodded.

"Yeah, she is." Said Gibbs before downing the rest of his bourbon and heading over to where she was stood. He paused for a moment, but in that moment her eyes landed on him and she excused herself with the ease of a politician. Walking over he saw that she looked happy, and once again was hit by the doubt that maybe she was better off without him. But before he had time to do her trick and run she was stood in front of him, looking at him with those amazing green eyes.

"What are you doing here Jethro?" She questioned, not bothering with pleasantries. They'd known each other long enough to see how the other was doing.

"We need to talk Jen." He replied, and she just nodded before leading him out of the side door and into the alleyway. Her jacket was hung up in the bar so she wrapped her arms around herself to stop the wind from making her too cold.

They stood there in silence for a moment, letting the soft sound of music that escaped the bar wash over them. "You're good Jen, never knew you could sing." He said, looking at her and admiring the way the wind blew her hair across her face ever so slightly.

"There are a lot of things that you don't know about me Jethro." She retaliated. And it was true, back when they were together they'd never talked about the whole family thing, or friends of history or even future. Back they just lived in the moment, too wrapped up in the present to care.

"Yeah, I'm beginning to realise that." HE softly replied, and then she looked him dead in the eye.

"What do you want Jethro?"

"A fresh start."

"You're got one, take your doctor friend and go and have a fresh start."

"I don't want one with her."

"Yeah? Well you've got a funny way of showing it."

"What did you expect me to do Jenny?! I thought you were dead!"

She looked away, not knowing how to respond. "Why didn't you look Jethro? Why didn't you try to see my body when you found out I was dead?" It seemed a weird thing to ask, but it had plagued her mind to no end.

"Because . . . I wanted to remember you as the funny, sarcastic and joking woman who had been my partner."

"Not the cold as ice director." She looked at him, eyes softened, and she realised that over the years she had hurt him too many times. "I'm sorry Jethro, because you deserve better than me. I've hurt you so many times."

"Jenny-"

"No, no don't. I've hurt you so many times, done wrong by you so many times." She wiped a stray tear from her face. "Go and find someone who will treat you right Jethro, you deserve better."

Jenny began to walked away, and after a moment, when Gibbs had realised what was happening he ran after her, wordlessly stopped her and kissed her. He kissed her strongly and passionately just as he had wanted to do for so long. And when they broke with heaving chests desperate for air her said: "I'm not losing you again Jen, I don't want anyone else." And with that he kissed her all over again, just as he had wanted to do ever since she returned into his life as director.

* * *

_Review?_

_Suggestions welcomed _


	10. Dix

**Disclaimer – **_I do not own NCIS_

**Author's note – **_Thank you all so much for your reviews, I honestly did not know what to write in this chapter, so tell me what you want to happen and inspire me! _

_Thanks to my reviewers: _GeneaLady, left my heart in Paris, Amber SanGiovanni, RhizOneill, Neelie2009, Jessiqua, EowynGoldberry

_it is only really a fillet chapter but Enjoy!_

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . . **_

"I'm sorry Jethro, because you deserve better than me. I've hurt you so many times."

"Jenny-"

"No, no don't. I've hurt you so many times, done wrong by you so many times." She wiped a stray tear from her face. "Go and find someone who will treat you right Jethro, you deserve better."

…

"I'm not losing you again Jen, I don't want anyone else." And with that he kissed her all over again, just as he had wanted to do ever since she returned into his life as director.

* * *

_**Now . . .**_

The following morning Jenny woke up to find herself wrapped up in Jethro's arms. To find him softly drawing patters on the pale skin of her stomach. And even though she knew she shouldn't be doing this, that in her current lifestyle this was all wrong, a smile fell across her lips. He looked so at peace with the world, with a small smile on his lips and a sleepy look in his eye. "Morning." She said, turning to look at him.

"Mornin'" He replied, before brushing a stray piece of hair away from her face and kissing her ever so softly. When they parted she closed her eyes and relaxed. Loving the feeling of him in her bed. But two things were plaguing her mind; one was the group of CIA agents outside her door who they had miraculously managed to sneak past the night before. And the second was she wasn't sure if she could do this. She wasn't sure if after five years living alone and on the run she would be able to settle down and commit to him.

He lay beside her and felt her tighten. Gibbs had known Jenny Shepard for many years, and knew instantly when something was wrong. And after losing her twice already he was certainly not even contemplating the idea of losing her all over again. "Jen what's wrong?" He questioned, and her eyes fluttered open.

"Nothing." She replied with a fake smile but he watched as he eye twitched telling him that she was lying. She began to get up but he pulled her back down onto him, stopping her feeble attempts at escaping him.

"Jen, I know when you are lying, so talk to me." He said, softly kissing her neck.

"Can we just leave it?"

"No. Jenny I've lost you too many times, if we're gonna do this then we're gonna do this right. And that means talking." She spun around to look at him, gazing into his piercing cobalt eyes and seeing the fear of losing her. She nodded, before looking down and concentrating on tracing an old war wound on his shoulder.

"I don't know if I can do this." She said, brutally honestly. And Gibbs was taken aback; he had thought that she was scared or nervous.

"What d'you mean by _this_ Jen?"

"I mean . . . dammit Jethro I have spent the last five years alone, hiding, and not getting close to anyone. I've lived on my own, and now . . . I don't know if I'm gonna be any good at this. Jethro, I don't know how to be close to anyone for more than a couple of months, and I really don't want to hurt you all over again." She looked up at him, and he realised that the last five years had been really hard on her. That since her supposed 'death' she'd had just as many close shaves and nights drowning sorrows as he had had.

He softly cupped her face and looked into her eyes. "Jenny, we were never any good at this, never good at sharing our feelings. And I'm not one to preach about sharing my life because we both know I'm no good at it. But I'm not losing you again, so let's give us a try?"

"Oaky." She said before leaning down and capturing his lips in a slow and passionate kiss that took his breath away.

"And if ya keep doing that then we'll have no problems." He said softly, making her laugh gently.

* * *

Half an hour later the pair emerged from the bedroom. They had showered and Gibbs had dressed in the previous nights clothes yet Jenny just wore a robe with her hair still damp. Leaving the room they felt like a pair of guilty teenagers. All of the CIA agents turned to stare at them which made Jenny laugh. "You want coffee?" She asked him as she walked into the kitchen, not bothering to wait for a reply as she knew he would do.

Stepping into the kitchen she got bored of all the staring. "Would you mind moving?" She asked them all. But they all exchanged a look as they silently asked who would be the one to confront her.

"Ms Shepard, we need to talk. It is not suitable to bring-"Spoke up the same woman who kept appearing in Jenny's apartment. The red head rolled her eyes and walked over to the pot of coffee, interrupting the annoying woman.

"Okay, listen. CIA this is Agent Gibbs, NCIS. Jethro, this is the CIA. There we go introductions over." Said Jenny before handing her lover the coffee and watching as he smirked at her. "What?"

"You, feel like I should be calling you Madame Director." He replied, chuckling. But she just slapped him and glared back at him. The CIA watched the pair as they casually sipped their coffee and joked around, each member feeling slightly happy for the red head. Especially those agents who had been with her a couple of months. But the blonde woman just rolled her eyes and went back to her laptop screen.

"I should be going." Said Gibbs, placing his empty cup down.

"Didn't think you'd be scared off by the CIA, you're losing your touch." She stated as she lead him towards the door.

"I'm more worried about whether Ziva will have killed Tony or not."

"Well don't be hard on her if she has." She replied smiling softly. He smiled back and quickly kissed her. "Is this just a onetime thing or am I gonna see you again?"

"You free tonight?"

"No, I have to work. Lynne said something about a stag do at the bar." She said, arms looped around his neck and softly playing with the hair at the nape of his neck.

"What time will you finish?"

"I don't know, gone midnight. How about I meet you tomorrow. It's Saturday. We can have lunch with the team? Then you can sit at the bar whilst I work."

"You want the team there?"

"I think they'd be offended if we didn't invite them."

"You rather they had been there last night Jen?"

"I think we can keep that one quiet." She said before he kissed her passionately. When they parted she glared at him. "You have to go!" She stated. With that he nodded and she smiled, watching him go. When the door was closed she retreated back into the apartment and went to go and get ready for her shift. Only be greeted by gawking agents.

"Seriously! Can I get no privacy what so ever anymore?!"

* * *

Jenny Shepard walked out of her room later on, dressed in a pleated A-Line skirt that fell just above her knee, on her top half was a fitted white blouse and she had on a pair of purple suede shoes to add colour. Her hair was curled and her makeup light. But the sight of agents stood there made her groan all over again. "How long does this have to stay like this?! I mean I can't even have a guest over without you all harassing him! And who the hell is that blonde woman who keeps hankering around and scolding me like I'm some child!" Jenny exploded, as she looked at them all.

"I'm the head of the CIA's WIP scheme." She said, standing there and looking at Jenny.

"Are you gonna answer my other question or not?"

"Ms Shepard the threats against your life are no laughing matter. And contrary to what you may believe they will not disappear overnight."

"Don't patronise me. I would have been your superior was I still director. And if the threat has not dissipated then what the hell have you been doing for the past five years?"

"Our job is to protect you, not remove the threat!"

"You're the CIA for god's sake! You kill people, what else were you going to do."

"As a former director I thought you would be better-informed that to believe the common misconceptions."

"Ah come on. You're really going to pretend you don't assassinate people? The CIA is as bad as Mossad is; only they don't try to cover it up." The blonde haired woman was getting seriously annoyed with the red head, and the feeling was mutual, Jenny hated being watched every minute of every passing day. Jenny groaned and grabbed her handbag, along with her purple military styled coat. "You never answered my question."

"When we believe the threat to be of a safe level."

"Or when I'm dead." And with that the fiery former Director of NCIS left her apartment and headed to work. Walking the streets, all too aware of the agents following behind her, blending in almost seamlessly with the crowd. As she went Jenny realised that whilst in the last twenty four hours she had got the one thing that she thought she would never get back – and was over the moon – she had also got to her breaking point. After five years of living in the shadows Jenny Shepard was ready to get back out into the light, and she was not too sure about how long she was willing to wait.

* * *

_Review?_


	11. onze

**Disclaimer – **_I don't own NCIS_

**Author's note – **_Hey! So thanks for all your sweet reviews! I have to admit this story was fun to write but it had come to the end of the line. This is the final chapter, there is just the epilogue to come then that is it. Thanks to the amazing Azniv for the help with the titile, and to Left my heart in Paris for her help via twitter. I hope that this is alright, and enjoy!_

_Thanks for reviewing: _Jessiqua, left my heart in Paris, RhizOneill, EowynGoldberry, Amber SanGiovanni, Jenny-Gibbs-forever, ncisqueen

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

_**Previously . . .**_

"I don't know, gone midnight. How about I meet you tomorrow. It's Saturday. We can have lunch with the team? Then you can sit at the bar whilst I work."

"You want the team there?"

"I think they'd be offended if we didn't invite them."

…

"How long does this have to stay like this?! I mean I can't even have a guest over without you all harassing him!"

_**Now . . .**_

The following day Jenny sat on the bottom of her bed getting ready for lunch with the team. It was getting close to the time when she would have to leave, and yet all she could think about was how nervous she was. This would be the first time she had seen any of them since the day when they had found her. Jenny sighed and pulled out the French plait she had done. For some reason despite the fact she should be happy she wasn't.

The life she was living whilst been an improvement upon the last five years was not her life. She was using her own name yet she was living like someone else. Whilst she had realised she was deeply in love with Jethro and it had only taken one night for the top soil to be lifted off of those emotions, she was honestly scared of not only hurting him but getting hurt. Five years of his life had passed by and he'd managed to live them and stay alive, but what did that mean for the pair of them?

Groaning she stared into her compact mirror at her reflection. Her eyes were lightly shadowed with a warm grey colour; her cheeks softly blushed and lips a ruby red as usual. Her hair hung down around her face and the red head blew it quickly with a groan before tying it up into a messy bun, knowing Jethro would no doubt pull it out at some point in the day. With that done she removed her robe and pulled on a pair of dark washed skinny jeans and a white long sleeved t-shirt. That way she could go straight from customer to staff at the bar.

They'd all decided that seeming as Jenny ad to work they'd go to Lynne's bar for lunch. Jenny was more than happy although she knew her friend would be eying up Gibbs for the entire time he was there.

Jenny picked out a simple gold necklace with matching gold earrings before going to find her shoes. After rummaging through the designer collection she settles on a pair of Giuseppe Zanotti royal blue suede stilettos. With that done the red head grabbed her black leather jacket and left the room, heading out of the apartment towards the bar, leaving an apartment full of frantic agents trying to hurry after her.

As it turned out even though Jenny was the closest to the bar she was the last one to arrive. When she got there she smiled at Lynne and ordered a coffee seeming as she was working later before heading over. Abby attacked her with a hug, Ziva kissed her cheek, as did Tony, Tim smiled warmly, as did Ducky, and Jethro. Well he sat there looking at her, not knowing if she minded. There were two empty seats, one next to Ziva and one next o him, so she sat down next to Gibbs and took hold of his hand under the table, letting him decide how public he wanted to be. But after losing her so many times already, he leant in and captured her lips in a sweet kiss.

When the pair parted Abby was squealing like mad and nearly jumping around the bar in her platforms, the rest of them smiled and Ducky simply said: "About time my boy!" Before giving his tea a stir and taking a sip. Jenny and Gibbs just looked at each other and smiled.

"I take it you don't mind them knowing then?" Said Jenny softly, as he put his arm around her and pulled her closer.

"Couldn't car less as long as I have you." He said and she looked up at him, smiling broadly.

"That just might be the sweetest thing you have ever said to me Leroy Jethro Gibbs."

"Is it now Jennifer Shepard?" He said before capturing her lisp for another kiss, only to be broken by Tony's childish wolf whistle, but Gibbs nodded to Ziva and kindly head slapped the immature agent for him.

"Ouch!" Tony said, rubbing his head with his hand and pouting slightly as he did so.

"Serves you right." Jenny retorted before turning to see Lynne not so discretely glaring a hole in Jethro's head. "Do you all know what you want to eat? I'll go order." So everyone told Jenny what they wanted and she left the table. As soon as she went Gibbs missed her by his side. But the look on Abby's face made him glare at her.

"What Abs?"

"You're in love!" She stated plainly. He didn't bother to reply, just smiled at her and they all were taken aback. Because their hard as nails boss was in love with the ice cold director.

XXX

"Hey." Said Jenny as she arrived at the bar. Lynne looked at her and raised an eyebrow questioningly."What?"

"When did that happen? You getting all lovey dovey?"

"The other night."

"hmm, and I take it he knows Jenny Shepard and not Louise Walters?"

"Yeah, he knows me Lynne." The raven haired woman looked over at the man in question as though she were evaluating how worth while he was for the red head.

"If he hurts you . . ." She began, letting the statement trail off.

"He won't." Jenny stated without a shadow of a doubt in her mind. Lynne just nodded, took the order and got back to work. Leaving Jenny to wonder whether her friend approved or not of the situation she was in.

XXX

That day the teams stayed in the bar until late, gradually sliding further and further down their seats until Jenny and Lynne decided to call them all a taxi to take them home. It was between the two 'parents' of the group that they got them into the cabs, but they finally did, and watched them go. Jenny stayed behind the bar until the place grew quiet and Lynne sent her home, CIA agents following closely behind until the par lost them. But the agents decided to let it go this once, because that woman in question was for once not alone. And as they walked back to her apartment they took a detour through the park and sat down on a bench.

Both content in the silence she rested her head in the crook of his neck and listened to his soft rhythmical heart beet, smiling at the familiarity and never wanting to leave this moment. "Jen." He said softly, looking down at her, and she moved her eyes to look into his. And as he looked into the emerald green orbs he realised he had made the right decision in getting her back in his life. "Move in with me?" And it was as close a proposition to marriage this pair would ever get. Because with his track record they both knew nothing on paper would make them love each other anymore. And she smiled, capturing his lips in a soft sweet kiss.

"Oui." She answered, and he simply chuckled, remembering how it used to drive him mad when they were partners that she would just change to French. Of course she knew it had wound him up, and that was why she did it.

In that moment, with the thought of moving in together things seemed perfect, they forgot about the CIA guards who stood at the entrance to the park watching the two shadowed figures of lovers. Instead they concentrated on one another, knowing this was their chance to make things work, and they were not going to blow it. Because, unlike earlier that day, this truly was her life, and no one was controlling it but her.

One of the guards turned to the other, and smiled, both had been with the red head since she came to the city, and believed she deserved the right to be happy. The other one nodded at him, a silent agreement that the pair of them would support her, but knowing they would not need to protect her for much longer, because she had her own person to protect her now. Someone who would delicately hold her heart in his hand, and keep her safe – toujours.


	12. douze

**Disclaimer **_NCIS is not mine_

**Author's note **_Thank you for all the support this story has gotten, I'm surprised and honoured that you all liked it so much! It was me kind of going back to basics will less OC's and more Jibbs. This is just a really cute, fluffy epilogue to make you all smile. Also reflects the rare hot british weather we are having at the moment!_

_Thanks to my reviewers: _GeneaLady, RhizONeill, Jenny-Gibbs-Forever, Left my heart in Paris, Amber SanGiovanni,

* * *

Ne m'oublie pas s'il te plait

Time is a scary thing. It passes us by almost quicker than we often realise. Goes by and leaves us wondering where days went, months, sometimes even years. But at the same time it lets us create memories, form dreams and then make them come true. Jenny had never dreamed big, never wanted to see her name in spotlights or have a star on the walk of fame. All she'd wanted was to protect those who she loved. Now, five years after she had moved in with Jethro, things were for once going smoothly.

They still loved in the house he'd lived in with Shannon and Kelly, but together, step by step they had redecorated the house so that it was now a home. It was their home. There were his memories hung on the mantel piece, photos with Kelly, items held close because of the Marine's. But there were things that held her memories, like the guitar that was hung behind the couch.

It was _their _home now, but one thing had never changed. The door was still always open, although, after a few close encounters of an evening, they'd all learnt to nock or announce their presence before just walking straight into the house. However Jenny and Jethro had never married, somehow it just didn't feel right. Yet him being the chauvinist he was, he'd instead given her a promise ring, a simply gold band with an Eiffel tower engraved into it for her to wear. Something she wore on her left ring finger to mark his territory, and she'd done the same, she'd given him a gold band with the words 'mine' engraved into it.

Now, five years on, summer had arrived and there was a heat wave hitting the city. So, after a year of close calls and hospital waiting rooms, Jenny and Gibbs had invited everyone over: the team, Abby, Ducky, Lynne, Jenny's sister, and Fornell. That was why; the garden was currently full of hyper agents running around in swimsuits with water guns. Abby and Ziva were in bikinis, whilst Tony and Tim wore their trunks. Jenny's sister heather was sat in a cut out swimsuit and cover-up under a parasol with Lynne who was in a swim suit too. The pair got on well, and there was a mutual respect.

Ducky and Fornell both sat in short sleeved shirts under a second parasol laughing at the scene before them. Gibbs was on barbeque duty, and much to jenny's displeasure was wearing his swim shorts along _with _a t-shirt. She however was inside, dressed in a lemon sundress. Unlike the other women she'd decided she was too old to be wearing a bikini or swimsuit and nothing else. So her lemon one piece with a halter neck was covered up completely, her hair half up half down and minimal make up. Stood in the kitchen with the radio on, making some salad she was singing away.

The red head still worked at Lynne's bar occasionally, but now her visits more often than not were as a customer on open mike night. Over the years she'd been approached by numerous labels, offering to use her songs or sign her, but she'd never accepted, it was a hobby and her dreams of it being something more had been left with her teenage self.

The large townhouse she had once lived in and that had been burnt down back when she supposedly 'died' had been renovated. That had been her project for the past few years, and now it was fully restored and had been handed over to Heather.

Standing at the doorframe he watched her, a smile creeping over his lips. She was singing away to some country his one the radio, smiling away as she chopped chives to go in the potato salad. He loved seeing her like this; happy and free, more like the agent who had joined his team all those years ago than the ice cold director she had become. But that woman was long behind him, and in the last five years he'd fallen even more in love with her.

With his family outside he realised he could not wish for more. If things had been different and she hadn't had left him in Paris then he would have liked to have thought that there would be a little red headed girl who was the splitting image of Jenny running around. But because of both of them they had left it too late now, and he knew that he especially was too old for children.

Despite being offered a job by SecNav Jenny had not fully returned to NCIS. Every now and again she would join a team to help when a case got complicated, or would help Leon smooth over the damage done by a case. But she's almost relaxed into a steady life, and he was happy because he knew that he didn't have to worry about her.

For the first year she lived with him, there had been the CIA there too, but soon enough, they realised that the threat was reduced and now there was just a meeting with them every six months. Of course there were times when they thought something was brewing so invited themselves back again to protect her.

"You look happy." He said, making her freeze until she spun around to see him walking towards her. With an evil grin she threw her head back and sauntered over to meet him.

"I am." Jenny replied, looping her arms around his neck and getting closer. He placed his hands on her hips and smiled.

"You thinking of taking this sundress off yet?" Gibbs growled as he decided she was too covered up.

"Erm . . . nope." She replied evilly before kissing him fully on the lips. Their love had not faded, or reduced over the last five years, in fact they were very much still in the honey moon faze, a five year one which must break all records. "You wouldn't want DiNozzo seeing what only you get to would you?" She whispered in his ear which made him laugh.

"Can we send them home yet then?" Gibbs retorted, but Jenny just kissed him.

"Will you two ever stop that? Get a room for god's sakes!" Said Lynne as she walked in the room making the pair pull apart and laugh at the comment.

"I don't ever want to be seeing my older sister doing that! Wait until we've gone?" Added Heather, as she stood next to the raven haired woman and glared at her sister. Jenny blushed, but Gibbs decided it was his house, so he bent down and kissed Jenny all over again. Her not being one to resist she gave in and kissed him back until she heard her friend and sister leave the room. When they parted she glared at him before placed a kiss on his cheek and walking over to the salad again, swaying her hips as she went.

"Tease!" He mumbled as he watched her go.

"You love me for it!" She winked before turning back to the job at hand. He watched her begin and returned to cooking at the barbeque. When all the salads were done Jenny took them outside and placed the cling film covered bowls onto the table before grabbing a mound of towels for the wet agents. The meal was filled with laughing and joking. Of course, Jenny and Gibbs sat next to one another, and from time to tie had their own private jokes. However the team had all grown used to it, and even Tobias was simply happy to see the two in love and content with life.

* * *

With the sun long since set the house was emptier now, just Jenny and Jethro remained. Holding two glasses and a bottle of bourbon he made his way outside to find Jenny laid on the grass. It was only as he grew closer he realised that her sundress had been removed. "So now you take it off?" HE stated, smiling as he looked down on her.

"Well there is only me and you here now." She retorted smartly. Gibbs then took off his t-shirt and her smile grew. But he decided that it was about time that he and Jenny had some fun, so he placed the bottle down on the table and went to grab the hose pipe. After knowing him for so long, Jenny was well aware he was up to something. "Jethro!" She warned as she watched him. But before she knew it he was squirting her lemon one piece with freezing cold water.

She fought back, jumping on his back and resting the hosepipe off of him. By the time the rest of the street was quiet their giggling water fight had finally died down, now that just laid on the grass, slightly damp but curled together, her resting her head on his chest as they both drank bourbon and relished in the moment. And as she looked up at him she smirked. "Thank you Jethro."

"What for?" He questioned, raising an eyebrow.

"For being my getaway driver and finding me."

Softly he captured her lips in a sweet kiss. "Anytime Jen, anytime."

The End

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_Thanks again for reading, please leave a review_


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